ï Mike Tyson joins the Lohan at Wonderland rehab facility. Now we just need Charles Nelson Reilly to check in and we've got ourselves The Surreal Life 7!

ï Sienna, Factory Girl shooting is over. You're not Edie Sedgwick anymore. Take off the leotard and slowly back away.

ï Brandy killed somebody with her Land Rover, now the victim's family is suing her for $50 million. Meanwhile, her brother Ray-J peed on Kim Kardashian and is throwing it into Whitney Houston. Fate is not smiling beatifically upon the Norwood family.

ï Hey, friends, we entertain you every weekday, right? Give you the ole ha-has, never ask for a thing in return. So maybe you could do just this one thing for us, as a tiny little favor? Could you go here and download the amazing Paris Hilton demo song culled from ParisExposed.com? It's more retarded than "PopoZao" and "My Humps" put together. It's life-altering. Trust us. Do it. Do it. Do it.

ï And speaking of Paris songs and ParisExposed, don't miss this soft, lilting tune crooned by Paris on video, and you'll finally get context for the "I got fucked in the butt for coke" line, in addition to a bunch of lovely racial verses.

ï The Factory Girl sex scenes between Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen are rumored to be the real thing. Great, but that doesn’t change the fact that nobody will see it.

ï Dustin “Screech” Diamond was “exiled” on the set of Celebrity Fit Club because he threatened to “make a dildo of my cock and fuck [former American Idol contestant] Kimberly Locke with it.” As far as empty threats go, that one’s pretty elaborate.

ï Headline of the day, part one.

ï Headline of the day, part two, (because we’re in seventh grade [it's the Jessica Lange story]).

ï Gwen Stefani the second celebrity parent to be stricken with blobbish progeny.

R&B star Brandy has slammed claims she was involved in a fight that broke out during a Bible study meeting in Los Angeles recently.
Reporter Jawn Murray claims the singer left a Scientology meeting and came directly to a Bible study class at First A.M.E. Church.
According to Murray, Brandy was challenging some of the principles of Christianity when the discussion became heated and chairs were thrown, which led to Brandy and her entourage being escorted out of the church.
The singer's representative, Courtney Barnes, slams the story telling EURweb.com, "The whole middle portion of the story is [bleep]."

So that means the beginning and end are not "shit", as we assume the final word to be. Brandy did attend a Scientology meeting and was also escorted out of a Christian church, even if there were no Geraldo-esque chair-throwing tantrums involved. We're just going to assume that Brandy stood up in her pew and yelled, "God is dead! Long live L. Ron!" and invited the entire congregation to join her for an auditing session for the low low price of $399.95.