Tag Archives: Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt Gets Peed onóDrip Drip Drip
We know you like to think of movie stars as glamorous people who bathe in Evian and wipe their asses with rose petals, but the truth is they're just like us. Sometimes they get wedgies. And maybe they look around for paparazzi first, but they pick 'em out, just like you. Also, sometimes they get [...]
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Also tagged celebrity bathroom habits, celebrity offspring, Eli Roth
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Welcome Back, Sugar Tits
And in lesser awards-show news, that frat-boy channel you've never watched, you know, the one that plays Fletch every Saturday afternoon, gave some statues away this weekend as well. But we're a little bit confused by Spike TV's Guy Choice Awards, as it seems that Brad Pitt won an award for Fight Club, which is [...]
Angelina Jolie: In Touch Subscriber
Oh, In Touch, you amuse us. Every week your pages arrive on our desk and we distractedly flip through, thinking, "Man, I wish this were Us Weekly instead." We're about 98% sure that every single story in that mag is completely made up, to the point that if we started seeing stories about Madonna dumping [...]
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, celebrity catfights, Jennifer Aniston, magazines
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Courteney Cox Breaks Girl Code
We generally have no opinion on Courteney Cox, other than the fact that we find the spelling of her name unbelievably annoying, but according to Page Six, we're now supposed to think she's a horrible backstabber who will eat your children while you're off taking a tinkle. BecauseóOH MY GODóshe spoke to Brad Pitt! Evil! [...]
Brad and Ang: Boring, Just Like Us!
We know, we know. Sometimes it's hard to find interesting celebrity gossip. Sometimes you end up writing about Jennifer Aniston's shiny hair or Amy Adams's love of Target towels. You've got space to fill. But good lord, Us Weekly, covering Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's sexy, sexy trip to a suburban grocery store? Was this [...]
Angie's Gone Duggar!
For someone who wanted to spend her life giving homes to the multihued orphans of the planet, Angelina Jolie sure likes the DIY approach to kids these days. Look, it’s Angelina preggo rumor #452c, courtesy of Star:
Yes, Angie is pregnant,” a family insider tells Star. “They’d been trying for another baby for months, but it [...]
Natalie Portman Is Probably Feeling Pretty Awesome Right Now
Muppet-mouthed maneater Angelina Jolie is widely considered the foxiest babe in the universe, but really, she's just like us. She craps. Sometimes. When she remembers to eat. And if you cut her, she bleeds. And then puts it into a vial and hangs it around her neck. And she actually feels insecure and jealous of [...]
Angelina Jolie's Cooter Seeking a More Well-Rounded Diet
That Angelina Jolie. She's wild. She lives on the edge. Labels and conventions can't contain her. She's free in her choices. Don't tell her what to do. Because she won't listen. She does what the hell she wants, when the hell she wants. And if that includes stopping by an all-lesbian orgy every once in [...]
Brad Pitt Begs "Please, Please, Please Marry Me Already"
In today's bullshit Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie story, they're getting married! Yay! Except that if they got married every time a magazine said they would, they'd have more ceremonies under their belts than Larry King. Says OK! magazine (via Celebitchy):
Superstar parents Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the worldís most glamorous couple ó but [...]
Brad Does Nanny, Angie Gets Slappy
OK, here's the thing. Brad Pitt already had his midlife crisis, right? He divorced his nice, boring wife and ran off with a hussy from work. While wearing leather and riding a motorcycle. Pretty typical. Over. Done. He can't do it again. But according to Star magazine, he's trying to diddle the nanny. What's next? [...]