Tag Archives: books
Britney Spears To Be a Righter Writer
You've always wanted a window into the inner thoughts of Britney Spears, right? We've always assumed that they pretty much matched the outward thoughts of Homer Simpson, with lots of "D'oh!"s and "Mmmm, donuts" mingling with life's larger questions: "Do these pants make my ass look fat, or is the word Juicy just especially puffy?" [...]
Kate Hudson and Angie Harmon's Butts Urge You To Give
Why is Kate Hudson wearing a Naomi-from-Mama's-Family hat and a fishnet body stocking over her insanely scrumptious rumptious? For charity! In photographer Timothy White's latest endeavor, Hollywood Pinups, a bunch of dames like Kate, an errant Olsen, Tea Leoni, Susan Sarandon, Gina Gershon, Salma Hayek, and more more more wore little more than strategically-placed maribou [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Angie Harmon, celebrity nudity, Gina Gershon, Kate Hudson, Mary-Kate Olsen, Rebecca De Mornay, Salma Hayek, Tea Leoni
1 Comment
Shhhh! Mariah Carey's Studying Her Bible! Be Very Quiet!
Mariah Carey is a very busy and important person. She does not have time for trivial things like reading. Unless of course it's the Bible. There's always time for Jesus. Reports our own personal Bible-study coach FemaleFirst:
Mariah Carey says the only book she has ever read is the Bible.
The 'Touch My Body' singer – who [...]
Papa Lohan Is Displeased
We like to take the piss out of buxom firecrotch Lindsay Lohan and her hat stand lover, Samantha Ronson, but deep down we worship those crazy cha-cha chewers and harbor nothing but warm wishes. Someone who doesn't? Michael Lohan, Lindsay's Jesus-loving, press-fellating former jailbird dad. Pops told E! Online:
ìIím not happy. Ever since [Lindsay] got [...]
Madonna Is a Ghost Writer (Not a Ghost Rider; That's Nicolas Cage)
We have finally cracked the world's biggest secret: We are all marionettes, and Madonna's pulling the strings. Shocking, right? You thought maybe that task was seen to by Bill Gates or God or someone, but you were wrong. It's Madonna. She makes us think she's getting a divorce so we'll cry and cry and feel [...]
Finally! Dustin Diamond To Reveal Secrets of Saved by the Bell!
You saw his huge (possibly stunt doubled) dong in Saved by the Smell. (We can't remember if that was the real title or a joke, but we're going with it.) You saw him getting dirty (and literally poo-covered) with two ladies and wondered how much they got paid for the privilege. Now you can hear, [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Dustin Diamond, Elizabeth Berkley, Mario Lopez, television, Tiffani Thiessen, Tori Spelling
Leave a comment
Madonna Ruins (Someone Else's) Marriage, Kisses Gwyneth
Madonna is still insisting that the Ciccone-Ritchies are one big happy family, but supposed schtup mate A-Rod's wife filing for divorce and citing second-hand Madge vadge cooties as the primary reason makes Madonna's story sound a little fishy. We try not to care too much about who's porking who, mostly because famous people go through [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Alex Rodriguez, celebrity breakups, celebrity gay rumors, celebrity hookups, Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna
Leave a comment
Madonna's Brother Is Very Loyal–To His Paycheck
Hey, Madonna! Besides pointing your un-clad poontang in the paparazzi's direction, what's a good way to get gossipers to stop talking about the possibility that you're about to scrap that whole till-death-do-us-part thing? Perhaps your estranged brother could write a juicy tome divulging all your secrets and then you could sic your big meany lawyers [...]
Ray J To Bobby Brown: You Don't Give Good Love
If you are like Serge Gainsbourg (Which, obviously, you are. We can tell by your spot-on rendition of "Lemon Incest."), then you want to crawl into the non-dooty-bubble-containing hole previously visited by Bobby Brown, i.e., Whitney Houston's vagina. And if you ever get that chance, erstwhile Kardashian humper and brother to Brandy Ray J has [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Bobby Brown, celebrity hookups, music, Ray J, Whitney Houston
1 Comment
Whitney Houston: Tenderoni. Drug Pusher.
To listen to Bobby Brown tell his sad tale of woe, you'd think him a wide-eyed naÔf being taken by the hand by a hollow-eyed, fur-coated ghoul named Whitney, led into a troll cave, and plied with all manner of illicit powders and potions. Today, our beloved gossip sober companion, Female First, has a few [...]