“He always gets me to take my clothes off for some reason. We’ll do some job and then he’ll say, ‘Why don’t we shoot some more things?’ and I’ll wind up without anything on.”

Some of the pics from the book leaked today, and by God, Heidi was not funnin’. She is naked. There is butt and there is nip. After the cut, please enjoy the photographs and let us know which of them you find the sexiest. Us? We like the ones in which she’s been Carrie’d by a bucket of diarrhea. Nothing says “Heidilicious” like being dipped in loose stools.

After you’re done looking at these nice pictures you can go ahead and sign up for our RSS feed.

Kate Moss

KATE Moss had a bust-up with rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince after she was grabbed by a man in a banana hammock thong at Simon Cowell’s $1.6 million 50th birthday bash. The supermodel, who was partying hard at the champagne-soaked party near London on Saturday, was tackled by a burlesque performer flown in from New York’s The Box. A spy reports, “The man was singing Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ and stripped down to a thong. He waded into the crowd and grabbed Kate, picked her up and started twirling her around. But as soon as he put her down, Jamie stormed over and began shouting at her.”

Maybe this bethonged man wasn’t looking to make the morning papers by playing helicopter with a famous supermodel. Maybe he just missed his trip to the gym that day and was looking for the closest thing approximating his favorite 80-pound dumbells.

But about that first part? Where Kate Moss is versatile because she can go nude? You can see that after the cut, along with some nudity from Eva Mendes and Pam Anderson. So follow us to the titties, oh faithful sheep.

These pics may be old, but you know what? You don’t care. It’s Eva Mendes topless. And Kate Moss topless. And Pam Anderson topless. So you don’t give a shit if these pics come from a new photo book by Sante D’Orazio called Barely Private like Nudography conjectures or if they’re from the private collection of Roman Polanski.

“On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it,” writes Phillips, who was 19 and a heavy drug user at the time. “I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad’s bed.”

“My father was not a man with boundaries. He was full of love, and he was sick with drugs. I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. Had this happened before? I didn’t know. All I can say is it was the first time I was aware of it.”

She goes on to say that the sexual relationship lasted ten years. This is honestly too sad and depressing to post about anymore. We thought better of Papa John. His Cinnapies and helpful dipping sauces for pizza crust are so delicious!

NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS in Kathy Griffin’s new tome “Official Book Club Selection,” out today from Ballantine Books, including her short-lived relationship with fellow comedian Jack Black.

She admits he wasn’t the greatest catch . . . to say the least. “One time, I spent the night at Jack’s place. I got up the next morning to take a shower so I could leave,” she writes.

“When I got out, I couldn’t find anything to dry myself with. ‘Jack, where are the towels?’ I yelled out. He said, “Um, I just have one that I use for a bathmat and a towel. So it’s the one on the floor.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I cleaned the floor once, like eight months ago, so it’s good. And I usually use a dirty t-shirt when I’m jerking off. Usually.”

The Victoria’s Secret model has teamed up with renowned photographer Rankin for the new tome, titled ‘Rankin’s Heidilicious’.

She explained: “It’s very naughty. I’ve been shooting with Rankin, for seven years and working with him is fun because he always makes me look different.

“He always gets me to take my clothes off for some reason. We’ll do some job and then he’ll say, ‘Why don’t we shoot some more things?’ and I’ll wind up without anything on.”

The book is due to hit stores in October.

“Heidi Klum nude photo book.” Those words sound very promising, but we’re pretty sure this will be pretty far from Madonna’s Sex book. First of all, we’re all but positive that Vanilla Ice won’t make an appearance, and second of all, when Heidi says nude, most of the time that will probably mean a sliver of butt crack rising above the pic’s lower frame or an arm draped casually (yet in a completely concealing manner) over her tits. We think we’re finally catching on to the Hollywood lingo here. “Nude” means “without clothing but also without nipples” and “My male client has never engaged in a sexual act with a man” means “My male client is currently diddling the dinger of a pool boy and cannot be reached for comment.”

His book is 52 pages — some blank, others with just a few words — and offers his optimistic philosophy on life. One two-page section reads, "Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!" Another page reads "I hate the word hate!"

Sounds cool and inspirational and like it just might give you the motivation to put down that bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and start coming up with some sick beats that will make you rich and famous, right? Maybe not, but it is pretty impressive, given Kanye's thoughts on books:

Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.

This just shows how different Kanye West is from CelebNewsWire. We weren't going to tell you about this, because it's a little embarrassing, but we had an interesting encounter over our Memorial Day weekend. We were on our way to the Jewel to pick up some more Hennessey when we saw one of our favorite books walking down the street. We started to run, yelling, "Jane Eyre, Jane Eyre! I love you. You're my favorite book, can I have your autograph?" But then when Jane Eyre turned around, it was actually Wuthering Heights and we were so embarrassed. We don't really like that book, so if anyone needs a solid Wuthering Heights autograph, we might be willing to sell.

Oh, and by the way, the 500 or so words in Kanye's book? Yeah, he needed a co-author for those.

Angelina Jolie is a jealous, cunning liar who schemed to lure Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston, cheated on him with a woman rock star, ó and even slept with her own mother's boyfriend! These are just some of the explosive revelations that could be served up about Hollywood's most famous mom in two shocking new tell-all books.

In the May 18 issue of Star ó on sale today ó we have the inside stories about the books about Brad's baby mama ó one to be written by renowned investigative reporter Andrew Morton, the other by Angie's former bodyguard Mickey Brett ó and the revelations they could include paint an unflattering picture of the wild child-turned humanitarian.

One of the shocking claims ó detailed in our cover story ó that could find its way into one of the books is that a teenage Angelina hooked up with her mother Marcheline's boyfriend.

"March and her guy had a huge fight, and Angie saw her chance to seduce him," an insider tells Star. "Angie cried and begged March to forgive her. Of course, March did."

Morton and his team of researchers are now in LA starting work on his blockbuster. And if he misses any juicy scandals, the ex-bodyguard has his own stories, including her hush-hush liaison with one of the biggest names in rock.

"Mickey the bodyguard knew all about this relationship," an insider tells Star. "And the details are pretty hot!"

Female rock star? We could throw out obvious guesses like Madonna and Gwen Stefani, but that's too easy. We're going to take a broader view of the term "rock star" and say Carol Channing. That dame could put Angie in her place. That, or Hannah Montana. Because even fictional characters want to bonk Angelina Jolie.

Amy Winehouse wants to write a children's book.

The troubled singer has been writing poems about her life after being inspired by her friend, Babyshambles rocker Pete Doherty, and hopes to inspire youngsters with her literary offerings.

A source said: "Amy's been stimulated since living in St. Lucia. She loves the chilled out atmosphere and has found it has encouraged her to write again.

"Pete Doherty once told her that poetry was a good way to express yourself so she thought writing a book of poems about her life would be a fine start.

"She really wants to write a children's book one day so thought a book of poems would be great practice."

The 'Rehab' star – who fell in love with St. Lucia while on an extended holiday and is now planning to buy a house on the Caribbean island to keep her away from temptations in London – is writing deeply personal material and hopes it will help people understand her better.

The source added to Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "One of her poems is called 'Desire' and is based on her yearning to be loved and to give love.

"Amy is so happy with the results she's even let her bodyguard read her scribbles to understand her."

That bodyguard probably has a really deep understanding of Amy's inner soul now.

My name is Amy Winhouse
I do not look like a mouse
Today I will eat a peach
Then I will go to the beach
And I will not cover up my tits
Man, I could really use some hits

See what we mean? That last line, it has meaning. Because Amy could really use a couple more hit songs, but a few drags off a bong or a crack pipe would do her just as well. Deep.

ï Holly Madison will be replacing an injured Jewel on Dancing with the Stars. Because to find someone to fill Jewel's shoes, they needed someone with similarly large chugs. (Daily Stab)

ï So maybe Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green aren't really broken up after all. Because, apparently, she's "addicted" to his ding dong. Here, have a bucket for that retching. There ya go. (Yeeeah!)

ï Ashlee Simpson brings Bronx Mowgli out into the urban jungle. Hahahaha, get it? (CelebWarship)

ï Miley Cyrus admits she underwent harrowing bullying at school. Then she came home and jumped in her swimming pool full of mink stoles and had the Hope Diamond for dinner. (Wesbster's Is My Bitch)

ï Kanye West's new beard girlfriend, Amber Rose, is frankly quite hot. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï James Franco got a book deal. Okay. (Celebitchy)

ï Hollywood dudes who wear too much makeup. Hahahaha! Look at you! Nice mascara, pansy! Bwahahaha! (Bitten and Bound)

ï Phil Collins has retired from music to collect artifacts from the Alamo. Because he can. (Holy Moly)