Tag Archives: boobs
We’re Surprised His Semen Isn’t Pure Lard By Now
If you place Kevin Federline’s semen on a slide and peer at it through a microscope, you will see the mustachioed strongman from the circus, Batman, Captain “Sully” Sullenberger, Juggernaut from the X-Men, and the ‘85 Bears. His seed will not be stopped. He has two children with Shar Jackson, two with Britney Spears, and [...]
The Soy Council’s Evil Plot to Give Jeremy Piven Tits
That Jeremy Piven, he’s such a whiner. First it was “Wahhhh, I can’t do a play cause I ate too many fishies and they made me sick” and now it’s all “Boo hoo, nobody loves me cause I got bitch titties from drinking soy milk.” Dude should just be grateful that he was able to [...]
Bai Ling’s Cheetah Half-Breed Has a Taste for Nipples
We’re in love with celebrity pets. There are the ones that are essentially living jewelry, like every animal Paris Hilton has ever come in contact with. Then there are the endearing mutts who take an otherwise boring celebrity and make us think that they can’t be half bad with a cute companion like that, like [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Nice Purple Rain Font
Adam Lambert’s album cover has been revealed and we seriously have no idea why people keep insisting this dude is gay. (Allie Is Wired)
Matthew Broderick flubbed his lines so badly at a recent play that audiences demanded their money back. Bomp bomp ohhhhhh yeeeeahhhh chicka chick ahhhh. (Celebitchy)
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got tattoos of [...]
New Moon, Nice Bazooms
Let’s say you’ve been in a coma for 25 years. And you wake up and for some reason are presented with the magazine French Revue de Modes. Who knows why. Maybe your family fears that after all this time exposure to the current state of American culture will shock you back into vegetation. So instead [...]
Victoria’s Secret Models Fight for Accidental-Nudity Domination
We love supermodels. They’re so pretty. And they’re so good at following orders. When a photographer says, “Take your top off, love,” (because photographers are classy and, therefore, British) it’s very likely that she’s going to do it. Hell, if she’s Kate Moss she probably won’t even wait for the photographer to ask. But even [...]
Lily Allen Goes Sienna Miller, Minus Sailor Hat and Balty
Supposedly Lily Allen has retired from music, even though the people who make money off of her music career would beg to differ. That’s sad and all, since the kids seem to like Lily and her love of the F word, but she still has a very lucrative second career to fall back on: exposing [...]
Eva Amurri Is Generous; Nude
Californication stars the always interesting David Duchovny, which is good. Then again, every time we hear the show mentioned, we get the Red Hot Chili Peppers stuck in our heads. That is bad. Thus, our feelings towards the show were neutral until Eva Amurri came along and captured our hearts like a plucky red-haired orphan [...]
Top Chef, Top Chest
Some famous ladies, especially the ones who became famous because they had hot bodies, are very concerned with what the gift of motherhood (a.k.a. growing a squirming fetus in your formerly perfectly flat stomach) will do to their bodies. But not Padma Lakshmi. She doesn’t need that modeling business anymore. She was married to Salman [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Up, Up and Away in My Dad’s Beautiful Mylar Stormchasing Balloon
Balloon Boy and his non-airborne brethren have a (c)rap video about avoiding “pussification”. Hey, they’re better than the Beastie Boys. (YouTube)
Balloon Boy also totally busted his fame-fellating parents by saying “You said we did this for the show.” Hahaha. (Celebitchy)
And after that, Balloon Boy barfed twice on live TV. The end. (Dlisted)
Amy Winehouse has allegedly [...]