CelebNewsWire» Billy Ray Cyrus Archives – CelebNewsWire

Jiggle Jiggle

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:45:58 +0000

Miley Cyrus: Maybe if I jog in a low-cut shirt and a bikini top, Justin will notice me.

Justin Gaston: Maybe if I jog with my shirt off, I can pick up cute guys.

Miley Cyrus: Maybe if I make a hand motion like I'm cupping male testicles, Justin will notice me.

Justin Gaston: It kind of looks like she's cupping balls. I could get into that.

Billy Ray Cyrus: I'm just relaxing by my crotch rocket, cold kicking my distressed denim after getting my soul patch professionally conditioned. All casual-like.

Justin Gaston: Ai, papi.

"Don't Break Your Hymen. Your Achy Breaky Hymen. I Just Don't Think America Would Understand."

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 18:45:45 +0000

When you inched toward puberty, your parents most likely sat you down and gave you an uncomfortable "when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, penis goes in vagina, don't get pregnant" speech. Not so for squirrelly tween Miley Cyrus, who got the "if you have sex, you will DESTROY THE LIVES OF EVERY PERSON UNDER SIXTEEN" lecture from her dad, Billy Ray. Says our friends across the pond at Digital Spy:

Billy Ray Cyrus has given a sex education talk to his 15-year-old daughter Miley, say reports.

He allegedly said: "We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion, but she's at that age where she is bound to be experimenting and her hormones are going nuts. I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously."

Miley is rumoured to be dating 20-year-old Justin Gastron, but has sternly denied she has already engaged in sexual activity with the model.

Well, according to these pictures of Miley's boyfriend that were released yesterday, Billy Ray really doesn't have much to worry about. Cuz is more likely to be spotted "pulling off a Kevin Spacey" with Chace Crawford then he is setting an open course towards Hannah Montana's virgin sea.

Turkey Breaky Heart

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:50:23 +0000

We've recently been overtaken with a curious wave of concern for Britney Spears. We feel no empathy for her constant plowing-over of bystanders with large motor vehicles, or the charming way in which see seems to enjoy sabotaging her career and family, but this morning we were bowled over by a mental image of Britney, alone on the holidays, eating a box of KFC Triple Dip Strips out by her neglected, leaf-and-beetle-filled pool. Luckily, this will never happen, thanks to the altruism of the man who brought us the international country-pop hit "Achy Breaky Heart". According to Allie is Wired, singer/Miley-sirer Billy Ray Cyrus has invited Britney to Thanksgiving dinner at his house:

ìHoney you are welcome to a Nashville Thanksgiving at our house . . . We love her. We would love to be there for you and we care about you. Miley is a big fan and she wants to reach out, too. We want her to know thatís itís never too late to make things right.î

Capital idea, and please film it for an "Osmond Family Christmas" style prime time special so we can all witness Britney stubbing out Mama's lollipop in the green bean casserole before flossing her teeth with errant strands of weave and loudly pointing out the cranberry sauce clinging to Billy Ray's kicky soul patch.

Britney shows it off at MrSkin.com.