CelebNewsWire» Bill Murray Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Hopelessly Devoted to Food

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 29 May 2008 17:19:23 +0000

ï Britney might star in Grease on Broadway. Well, she's certainly got the "grease" part down. (Daily Stab)

ï Mischa Barton is refusing to promote her t.a.t.u. movie. Wonder why. (IDLYITW)

ï Thank God for Lindsay Lohan's relationship with Samantha Ronson, for it keeps Michael Lohan in the news! (Yeeeah!)

ï Scarlett Johansson. Naked in a pool. (Egotastic!)

ï As Hilary Duff's veneers have shrunk, so has her rack inflated. It's magic! (Cityrag)

ï Mariah Carey dons her most Mimi-est of rags to kick off Japanese baseball season. Man, what a weird sentence. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Pamela Anderson returns to form with the best upskirt she can muster. (Taxi Driver)

ï Angelina and Brad let their children do whatever while they dunk their sleek, genetically superior forms nakedly into their pool. (The Blemish)

ï Naomi Campbell to trade glamour for the slammer. (Celebitchy)

ï Bill Murray's wife says he's a drunk and a stoner and a cheater and a beater. B-b-buh . . . but . . . he's the voice of Garfield! (PopCrunch)

CNW Junk Drawer: Duff Muff?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:38:45 +0000

ï Bridget Moynahan gave birth to a giant football yesterday. (Celebitchy)

ï Anna Faris makes with the cheek-smugglers. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Jessica Biel is happy to share her chest chasm with you in FHM. (Egotastic!)

ï Attractive drip Adrian Grenier throws genital caution to the wind and hangs out with Paris Hilton. (The Blemish)

ï Christina Aguilera's baby will not go hungry. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Sweden makes the call: Bill Murray is one beer over par! (IDLYITW)

ï Mariah Carey obscures breasts with lace grandma curtain; cirrus clouds. (Cityrag)

ï Lindy Loho thinks that rehab is serious business. You can tell by her no-nonsense hair bun and utilitarian mom-chic hoodie. (Yeeeah!)

ï The main peril of being a housecat is accidentally drinking antifreeze. Unless you're Pete Doherty's cat, then the biggest problem is a couple of bumps of coke sprinkled atop your Meow Mix. (A Socialite's Life)

ï Hilary Duff: womanly folds or crotch seam? (Taxi Driver)

ï Hayden Panettiere: now old enough for lactose bukkake! (Celeb Warship)

ï Jennifer Love Hewitt cries when she watches herself act. That's so funny, because we also wail uncontrollably when we have to watch her act. (Daily Stab)

ï Kurt Russell sports flaccid ding dongage and a solid B-cup. (Allie Is Wired)

Bill Murray Is Dry as a Bone

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 17 May 2005 17:00:21 +0000

Moviemaking sure can take it out of a person. The hours of being pampered and waited on–oh, and saying a few lines for the camera–can send the young and resilient to the hospital for exhaustion. The old and humorless (we're looking at you, Sean Penn) opt to sit around in a bathrobe contemplating the impact of their work. Bill Murray seems to fall somewhere in the middle.

Murray recently finished filming the Jim Jarmusch film Broken Flowers and is ready to take a break from acting. "Doing all those movies in a row, I didn't have anything left. At the end of Jim's movie I was empty, dry as a bone." Funny, that's exactly what we told our shrink after fleeing our job at Starbucks. So what is Bill Murray going to do with his free time now that he won't be making movies for the hipster set? "I'm really looking to cut lawns for the summer. I don't really want to work at all," he said. We can see him now, riding his lawnmower from house to house and offering up his services to the unfortunate families who don't have little boys of their own to do the mowing. They can even pay him in quarters as long as they offer cookies and milk after the job is done.