I sleep naked … She was kissing me, and suddenly, she woke up. She saw my nipple, and oh my God, she went for it. If I wasn’t fast, my nipple is gone. She thought it was a toy or something.

Can you blame the pussy? Bai Ling’s nipples are roughly the size of baby dicks. While Bai’s sleeping we’re betting they flail around like a snoozing pooch’s legs. How could a playful kitty not pounce?

The first time I had a conversation with the director Alex Proyas, I did not even speak English, so I had to look at the dictionary. I found the word “nipples.”

. . . a lot of people are talking about nipples. I say, “Well, if you’re talking about my nipples, I might as well too. Because they’re beautiful, they’re provocative.”

I feel myself [indistinct] nipples, pieces of my dream.

Head nipple to MrSkin.com for the full nippleview with Bai Nipple about the nipple she nippled Amy Smart. Nipple.

It seems as far as far can be from the perfect match, but hey opposites do attract — so could it be that crazy actress Bai Ling and music legend Lionel Richie have something going on?

The unlikely duo was spotted on what appeared to be a romantic date last Thursday at Whist at Viceroy Santa Monica. According to an eye witness, Ling and Richie kept a low-profile and laughed and flirted throughout their meal.

The actress (who tells people she hails ìfrom the moonî and has a habit of crashing Hollywood parties and dirty dancing for hours by herself) was most recently linked to Mickey Rourke with whom she put on quite the PDA with at the Chateau Marmont earlier this year.

See, we knew we didn't like that whole Mickey Rourke thing. That made sense. It was expected. And Bai Ling should never do anything that's expected. She should show up to the premiere of a Pixar movie (uninvited, of course) wearing an adult diaper and pasties. And tell all the little children she encounters about how the cartoon star of the movie is really her father, but she was born looking too human and had to be sent to an orphanage. And if she did that while taking short breaks to lick Lionel Richie's face, all the better. Just imagine if the pair got married and Lionel insisted on Nicole Richie calling Bai Ling Mom. Oooh, and maybe this will spark a really bizarre trend. Next up, Tila Tequila seen cavorting with Billy Ocean.

Actress Bai Ling has blasted reports of a romance with The Wrestler star Mickey Rourke. The rumour mill was sent into overdrive after The Crow actress was spotted attending a party with Rourke in Los Angeles in January, with witnesses insisting the pair were kissing at the bash.

But a spokesperson for the Chinese actress has now dashed speculation she deliberately befriended the star to raise her own profile, insisting they are just pals.

Her representative tells New York gossip column PageSix, "While Bai Ling, who is single, has dated a lot during her career, she isn't some 'whore' who hooks on to rising actors. She considers Mickey Rourke a friend. He sent a car for her. She never had an interest in dating him. The next day it was all over the tabloids… Though she is an iconoclast with her fashion, too often she's mislabeled as a tawdry Holly Golightly."

Which is a fancy way of saying, "Yeah, she dated Nick Carter, but she draws the line at kissing the meatball lips of Mickey Rourke." Everyone has their limits.

MICKEY Rourke is already reaping the benefits of his comeback. The star of "The Wrestler" was at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood the other night with Sean Penn and his long-suffering wife, Robin Wright Penn, when, our witnesses said, Rourke was accosted by fame-craving Bai Ling. Rourke was only too happy to oblige the Chinese-born actress and the two "made out and partied pretty hard."

This match makes perfect sense. Her cooch is probably so chapped and numb from constant exposure to the elements that she'll barely feel his giant ham hands. Everybody wins.

(More pics via Egotastic!)

And there is naked Ling out the yin-yang at MrSkin.com.

ï Miley Cyrus publicly apologizes for not wearing her seat belt. No seat belt is a slippery slope that leads headlong into Crotchflashtown and San Rehabton. (IMDb)

ï Emma "Hermione" Watson gets slimed by Kirsten Dunst's leftovers. (The Sun)

ï Bai Ling arrested for hamburglaring some gossip rags and a pack of batteries from an airport gift shop. Maybe she wanted to power up her G-spotter to use while gazing at herself in the fashion "What Were They Thinking?" section. (Celebitchy)

ï Oh, shut your tamalehole, J. Lo. Nobody wants to steal your dumb old crusty old babies. (The Blemish)

ï The Madamism of Hollywood. Waylon Flowers would be delighted. (Cityrag)

ï Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, that sitter of hers is A number one. (HolyTaco)

ï Amy Winehouse upgrades to Blake v. 2.0: all the creepiness none of the jail. Now with Magic-Gro Hair! (The Superficial)

ï Aguilera debuts her infink. (Daily Stab)

ï Kristen Bell gets rung! (Don't Link This)

ï Bai Ling in her natural state in Photographie magazine; i.e., nips out. (Nudography)

ï Hot holy shit on a cracked pepper cracker, is Angelina Jolie growing Infant Superbeauty El Gorgeoso Baby Part II in her womb part? (Derek Hail)

ï Well, Jennifer Lopez sure is, says her costume designer. (GlossLip)

ï Lindsay Lohan will not be hosting a large, alcohol and drug-soaked party in Las Vegas. Well, shit. Now how are we supposed to ring in 2008? (Yeeeah!)

ï Sienna Miller continues the true hippie spirit of free love and no bras. (The Blemish)

ï God bless America. My bone, sweeeeeet booooonnnnne. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

"We shared a special attraction. I felt this energy between us, when we look at each other there is an energy, an attraction. Her eyes transfer a sexual energy to me that makes her irresistible. We could have hooked up, but it just wasn't the right time or place. But she told me, 'My heart's open to you.'

"She is like me. She is totally open sexually."

"I've always thought Brad Pitt was the sexiest man on the planet. So now that Brad and Angelina are together, now maybe I could experience both at the same time!"

Poor sweet Bai is stuck in the blood-and-knives-and-screwing-Jenny-Shimizu Angelina phase. She doesn't seem to understand that for the time being, Angelina has swapped munching the beavs of forlorn little Asians to adopting them. Hi-yoooo!

Angelina gets incredibly naked at MrSkin.com.

And hoo boy, so does Bai!