Tag Archives: Avril Lavigne
Avril Lavigne Unnecessarily Resurrects Wilmer Valderrama
There are some celebrity ex-boyfriends that we desperately want to return to the spotlight. Day after day we gaze upon the picture of Stamos Nachos that we cut from an old issue of Us Weekly and tacked up next to our computer and we lament, “Oh, Nachos, when will you ever return to us, our [...]
Why’d Ya Have to Go and Make Things So Separated
He was a boi. She was a girl. Then they got divorced. Could I make it any more obvious? After months of speculation, plucky towheaded Canadian Avril Lavigne has put the kibosh on her marriage to Sum 41 singer/main gnome Deryck Whibley. Us Weekly reports:
After three years of marriage, Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley have [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter.
Derek Jeter makes 500 trillion dollars a year and now he’s going to marry Minka Kelly. And you guys don’t want Socialism? (Yeeeah!)
Jennifer Aniston nips out for Elle. Fashionably sharp, old girl. (CityRag)
Even Anderson Cooper can’t hide the vitriol when it comes to indulging Heidi Montag’s poppycockery. (Gone Hollywood)
Gerard Butler slapped a dog. And he [...]
Avril's Ample Apples
Aw, isn't that cute. Avril Lavigne, noticing that she's quickly losing relevance and the fake punks would much rather follow crabcore than girly pop punk, tries to catch our attention with her boobs. Whatever works.
Paris Hilton Finds a New Victim Friend
Paris Hilton has a very short attention span. While she tried to overcome this fault by getting faux punk cooties from Benji Madden, a girl's got to roam. Roam right into the ooey, gooey, cheesy arms of Stamos Nachos. And now that Paris is free to party as she pleases, she's taken another young blonde [...]
Today Is the Greatest Day She's Ever Known
We know that Canadians are a bit behind the times, fashion-wise, but this is ridiculous. The Doc Martens? The wallet chain? The Manic Panic stripe in her hair? My God, Avril Lavigne thinks it's 1993! We bet she's rocking a Walkman with a sweet mix of Smashing Pumpkins, The Breeders, Dinosaur Jr., and Porno for [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Leave a comment
Avril Lavigne's Husband Earns Keep with Hearty Public Breast Massage
Here we see Avril Lavigne picnicking in the park with her trusty gnome, Nibbles. Not only does Nibbles cobble shoes, make mischief in a glen, and play in the Canadian pop-punk band Sum 41, he is also employed to keep his mistress Avril happy and relaxed. He does this through the art of gnome massage, [...]
Avril Lavigne's T8r Tots in a Bikini
Huh. It doesn't look like Avril Lavigne is too terribly pregnant here. It does, however, look like she's smuggling some surprisingly globular and impressively sizeable blammos inside that bikini of hers. And the paint-on hair streaks that perfectly match the swimwear? Genius. Simply genius. Giant breasts, pink hair stripes, scanty togs. Cut off Avril's nose [...]
Magical Preg Juice Spreads from Hollywood to Canada
According to celebrity Canadian blog (there are Canadian celebrities? Besides Rick Moranis, we mean) Is This Happening, ill-tempered Canuck singer Avril Lavigne is expecting a little sk8r boi or grrl:
Wow!! Must be that time of the year for babies!! Isthishappening.com has learned exclusively that Canadian singer, Avril Lavigne is pregnant!! You heard it here first [...]
Halloween Hooker Wrap-Up: A Bunch of Tricks
Paris went for the natural look for Halloween. I.e., she's in her natural state. I.e. coated in white seamen.
After the cut, eyeball more Paris and other celebrity "slutty _____" costumes!