CelebNewsWire» Ashley Tisdale Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Goose Egg

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:00:55 +0000

Rihanna has a big lump on her head. So she either went back to Chris “Doo Doo” Brown or she’s growing horns. The latter is more believable. (Gone Hollywood)
Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima gives birth to baby girl; is probably not a virgin anymore. (PopEater)
Victoria’s Secret model Shannan Click naked. Totally, truly, NSFW naked naked. It’s pretty funny that a model has the last name “Click”. That would be like a dentist named Dr. Bzzzzzrrrrt or CelebNewsWire’s last name being a fart sound. (Yeeeah!)
Beyonce upskirt, but she’s got underwear on so don’t get too jazzed or nuthin. (Cityrag)
New Moon star Noot Seear nude. Which makes you a Nood Seer. Haw! (Nudography)
Ashley Tisdale wears a bikini. Also, I got a splinter yesterday. It hurt! (CelebSlam)
Lily Allen has a secret half sister! Dun dun DUN! (Anything Hollywood)
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CNW Junk Drawer: Rhys Is in Pieces

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:09:45 +0000

ï Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)

ï Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo dressed as cheerleaders, Carmen Electra in jazzercise gear. You're welcome, pre-verts. (The Hollywood Gossip)

ï The fetus is out there. And by "there" we mean in Gillian Anderson's womb. (F-Listed)

ï Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen married Brooke Whatsherguts last weekend. We didn't report on it because it didn't involve insulting Denise Richards. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Lily Allen's hair is pink, her face is green, and her liver is pickled yellow. Fun drunk shots! Luv u Lily. (Derek Hail)

ï Astley Tisdale: prepare for mass RickRollage. (The Blemish)

ï Vanity Fair is in deep shit for implying that Gina Gershon let Bill Clinton's presidential peen into her Oval Office. Crystal Connors, NO! (Defamer)

ï Eva Longoria is sporting what appears to be an inflated pregnancy rack, highlighted by the most burnt sienna of tan-spackle. (D-listed)

CNW Junk Drawer: David Silver's Best Gal

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:38:57 +0000

ï Megan Fox seems to have misplaced her shirt. We all win! (Egotastic!)

ï Brad Pitt thinks that orphans come from his anus. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Britney's not the only one who enjoys mama's lollipops in front of Sean and JJ. Only Daddy's lollipops come in a pretty glass container and smell funny. (Yeeeah!)

ï Fergie is coming clean about her dirtied drawers. (Cityrag)

ï Ashley Tisdale's new nose gives you glad tidings. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Britney proves she owns undies. (Taxi Driver)

ï Tony Parker is not just French, he's litigious. Doubly obnoxious! (Daily Stab)

ï Tom Cruise's older children call Katie Holmes "Mom". They call Tom "Intergalactic Overlord Patriarchal Cyborg Unit #6599202B". (Celebitchy)

ï Tara Reid sports a bikini. And what appears to be Ashton Kutcher's trucker hat from 2002. (The Blemish)

ï Monica Bellucci has thingies. They're, like, round things. Kind of pinkish? They're a little bit below her collarbone. You know, whosiwhatsits. (Hollywood Tuna)

Ashley Nipsdale

Agent E. — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:50:55 +0000

Because you are a dirty, disgusting pervert, you will love seeing your little sister's favorite Disney Channel star slip a big puffy nipple after the cut. Look at it for a good couple of minutes and then call your psychiatrist and tell her to clear her schedule.

We know you were hoping for Hannah Montana because your biggest goal in life has always been to see the private bits of a member of Billy Ray Cyrus's family, but instead ogle Ashley Tisdale. And although she is a Disney Channel star, she's 22. So that's either a nice relief or a bitter disappointment. In which case, seriously, pick up that phone.

Thus concludes the portion of our program where we try to recapture our lost youth by pandering to teenagers. Barring any further nudity, we will leave all future High School Musical-related reporting to Just Jared.

Find more of Ashley and her nip at the dashing and talented Egotastic!