Tag Archives: Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie’s Thirst for Third World Babies Not Yet Sated
Angelina Jolie has been dominating tabloid covers for nigh on a month now. We’ve ignored it because Christ on a crutch, who cares. She’s a joyless, friendless weirdo who makes boring movies. And she’s probably going to add another baby to to curio cabinet of waifs. OK! magazine says:
. . . we reveal Angelina Jolie’s [...]
Knox and Viv Emerge from Quarantine
They live! Despite many rumors that wondertwins Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt are wheezy, allergy-ridden bubble babies who can’t stop barfing and shitting, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie brought them out into the world this weekend. The Daily Mail reports:
The couple made a surprise visit to the Licky Licious gelato store where the owner Ihab Fakhouri [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: “He’s So F–ing Rude”
Kate Moss goes apeshit and throws a hissy fit at the GQ Awards. Because there’s nothing more sassy and sexy than an aging supermodel mom screaming and flinging nicotine-stained yellow spittle while stumbling around. Rawr! (Anything Hollywood)
Ellen Pompeo is busy cooking a baby in her womb. Meanwhile, Ellen Pompeo’s husband is busy porking a waitress. [...]
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Also tagged booze, celebrity breakups, Ellen Pompeo, Hailey Glassman, Jon Gosselin, Kate Moss, Kim Cattrall, Matt Damon, Megan Fox, models, movies, Rose McGowan
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The Grotto Ain’t the Only Hot Spot in Brangelinatown
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attended the premiere of his choadily-spelled movie Inglourious Basterds Monday evening. Brad wore a black suit, sunglasses, and a graying goatee, while Angelina donned a sexy black leather dress accessorized with Brad’s nuts in the pocket. Oh, and they were asked about their sex grotto. US Weekly writes:
Last week Brad [...]
Brangelina and the Sensual Chamber of Sexy Secrets
Back when they first joined forced in 2005, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt deafened a nation with the carnal jungle cries that were the result of the joining of America’s Sexiest Genitals. Now that the newness of the relationship has worn off and they’re parents of six, they’ve most likely settled into a dull day-to-day [...]
Angelina Jolie Is Not a Transformers Fan
Sometimes you know a story is complete bullshit but you just can't pass it up. Sometimes you just want to believe. But even if we know that the following account of Angelina Jolie talking smack on Megan Fox is all the fabrication of some bored publicist/gossip mag intern/celebrity stalker, it's still damn funny. Supposedly when [...]
When a Fox Becomes a Camel
We've never been quite sure how this "controversy to drum up movie ticket sales" thing is supposed to work. Megan Fox has been doing the rounds, saying "shocking" things to the media and claiming she's single and telling Ireland Online that she wants to date Angelina Jolie:
ìEvery time a relationship ends, I say, ëIf I [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Cannes You Dig It
Brad’s all, “C’mon, Angelina, we have to get to Cannes” and she’s all, “Hold up, Brad, I gotta show the paps a little more of where Shilohs come from.” (Yeeeah!)
Maria Bello. Topless. Tied to a bed. Believe it. (Nudography)
And speaking of Maria Bello, did you know that she was from the greater [...]
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Also tagged Adriana Lima, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, celebrity bathroom habits, celebrity hookups, celebrity nudity, celebs in bikinis, film festivals, Hayden Panettiere, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Maria Bello, nip slips, Rihanna, Samantha Ronson, tattoos, underwear
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Angelina Jolie: In Touch Subscriber
Oh, In Touch, you amuse us. Every week your pages arrive on our desk and we distractedly flip through, thinking, "Man, I wish this were Us Weekly instead." We're about 98% sure that every single story in that mag is completely made up, to the point that if we started seeing stories about Madonna dumping [...]
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Also tagged Brad Pitt, celebrity catfights, Jennifer Aniston, magazines
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Angelina Jolie a Man-Stealing Hussy? You Don't Say.
You probably thought that Angelina Jolie was a sensitive, misunderstood soul who only started humping a married man because they were soul mates and the universe demanded they pair up to form the world's most beautiful, perfect, multiethnic family. But turns out Ang just likes seducing men away from other women. Even if the other [...]