CelebNewsWire» American Idol Archives – CelebNewsWire

Ellen DeGeneres to Idolize America

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:41:48 +0000

Ellen Degeneres is America’s most beloved gay woman since Lady Elaine from Mr. Rogers, so it’s no surprise that people are falling all over themselves to sign her for projects. Talk shows. Awards show hosting. Peddling credit cards and cream blush. Now she can add another job to her resume: Paula Abdul part 2. Ellen’s the new American Idol judge. She announced it during the taping of her talk show yesterday.

Ellen is a bright and sunshiney person and often very entertaining and funny, but how legitimate an American Idol judge can she be? She has no background in the music world. She’s no musician. She can’t sing. She doesn’t have perfect pitch or a good ear. Then again, neither does Paula Abdul, and Ellen won’t ever cause a scandal by banging all the male contestants. Diabolical, American Idol producers.

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We're Not Interested In an American Idol Sex Tape if Sanjaya Is Not Involved

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 17:39:27 +0000

American Idol's Olivia Mojica (season two) has a sex tape. You can watch a preview of the sex tape of American Idol's Olivia Mojica here. A source referred to the tape as "the nastiest I've ever seen." We watched it and man, it was nasty! Olivia took off her clothes. And then she said the f-word in conjunction with the p-word. And then she had intercourse with a man we presume she is not legally wedded to. Yecccch, so kinky and disgusting.

Gwen Stefani Does Not Suffer Sanjayas Gladly

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 17:08:26 +0000

We didn't want to write about American Idol contestants, because this is CelebNewsWire and not HighSchoolTalentShowSingerNewsWire, but we broke the seal with Antonella Barba and now the stories are pouring out of us like so many loose stools. Last night VoteForTheWorst.com's favorite, Sanjaya Malakar, sang No Doubt's "Bathwater" while sporting a My Little Pony hair confection that must be seen to be believed, and apparently Gwen Stefani, the episode's mentor, was less than pleased. About the song, not the hair. As evidenced by the unicorn hole at left, Gwen is a fan of follicular folly.

Idolator relays this tale from the Idol message boards:

"Sanjaya Malakar – He wanted to sing "Spoiler". She tried to get him to sing some 80's song. He said he was a big fan and he really wanted to do one of her songs. Gwen was upfront with him and told him she didn't think he could pull it off but gave him the benefit of the doubt. Today after seeing how rehearsals were going, she didnt' see any progress. She went to Nigel immediately and told him she does not want Sanjaya singing one of her songs whatsoever. Sanjaya didn't have many options at that point. He kind of got stuck with "Spoiler". This caused a big scene at the studio and was the talk all afternoon."

You know you're crappy when someone gets upset that you're singing one of their songs for a contest. But the most important thing here isn't Mangina's watery braying or Gwen Stefani's ire. It's the fact that Sanjaya has been taking styling tips from Maddox Jolie-Pitt:

Assuage your assaulted eyes with some more Gwen Stefani at MrSkin.com.