• All the pics from Megan Fox’s UK GQ shoot. That should keep you busy. (Yeeeah!)
• David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. Grasshopper, no! (TMZ)
• Melissa Joan Hart was praying that Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die . . . because that would have bumped her off the cover of people. Melissa Joan Hartless. Tsk tsk, little teenage witch. (The Blemish)
• Sandra Bullock says she’s going to be nude in The Proposal. We call Sandra Bullshit on this one. (Fatback)
• Did Cameron Diaz get her face chopped up? (Cityrag)
• Speaking of Cam, she says she wants a fat ass. (Amy Grindhouse)
• Joe Jonas does a video parody of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. You’re two months too late on this one, homey. What next, a “leave Britney alone” parody? Play him off, keyboard cat. (Allie Is Wired)
• Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter killed a baby. You heard us. (Celeb Warship)
• Who do the voodoo that you do? Nicolas Cage do that voodoo. Doo doo. (Daily Stab)
• Kate Hudson is serious about bouncing on A-Rod. (Pop on the Pop)

ï Alex Rodriguez is mad because Madonna's stepping out publicly with some other dude! Even though he claims he and Madge are just bros! Only Madge is saying that the new guy is just a trick to divert the media from her real romance with the Rod! Maybe they'll french! OMG! (TMZ)

ï Pam Anderson has been named the face of Vivienne Westwood's new ad campaign. And lord, we will all be in paign. (Yeeeah!)

ï Scarlett Johansson has new Cher hair (Chair?). (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Lily Allen wears a slutty sailor girl outfit with an E-Z access crotch hatch. (CelebWarship)

ï Former Britney Spears leech Sam Lutfi wants money. Lots and lots of money. He wants the pie in the sky. (The Blemish)

Batten down the hatches ñ bitch fight on the way.

It looks like Madonna has younger, blonder competition for her New York Yankee pal Alex Rodriguez.

Yes, man eater Kate Hudson ñ who changes boyfriends as fast as her fashion frocks ñ was allegedly spotted warming up to A-Rod at a glamour bash in Miami over the weekend.

The pair reportedly got to know each other rather well at the star studded opening of the new Fontainebleau Hotel.

The married sport star reportedly entertained the You, Me and Dupree actress, 29, at a private table as they watched Mariah Carey's sing-song together on the South Beach.

Helpful spies claim: 'Hudson had her arms completely wrapped around A-Rod's waist and every time he leaned over to talk to anyone she would pull him back toward her.

'They were laughing and giggling all night.'

Little wonder Aunty Madge, 50, sent along best buddy Gwyneth Paltrow to keep a watchful eye on her good friend.

Paltrow, 36, reportedly enjoyed an Italian lunch with the A-Rod, 33, at Scarpetta during the day but must have gone off duty once the show started.

Maybe Kate's hoping that A-Rod will use that poet's heart of his to create an ode to her beauty:

Kate
You are so great
I want to take you on a date
And then my penis and your vagina can mate
Cause that is more fun than masturbating
Oh shit, that doesn't rhyme
Aw, fuck it
Love, A-Rod


Kate Hudson is nude at MrSkin.com.

And, hey, Madonna's nude too!

MADONNA and Alex Rodriguez are turning to mush over each other. Sources close to Madge tell the Chicago Sun-Times she's so smitten with her rumored Yankee lover, she informed a close pal he "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." Rodriguez, meanwhile, has been writing "sweet, personal and rambling expressions of his feelings," the paper reports. "Sort of like old-fashioned love notes."

We're trying to imagine what a poem from the soul of A-Rod would sound like.

Madonna Madonna
I wanna
Get on ya
Your delts remind me of
Some sort of really hard object
That is real strong
Like concrete or a baseball bat
Only not long and hard cuz that's gay
Can I borrow your creatine sometime
Also you have blonde hair

See Madonna nude at MrSkin.com.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie didn't have sex for 18 months as their marriage crumbled.

The couple – who announced last week they were separating, ending months of rumours – reportedly didn't get close beneath the sheets because the 'Hung Up' singer was too tired for love due to her gruelling daily 4-hour workouts.

A friend close to the pair said: "Guy got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day exercising. When she did eventually get home she'd be too tired to make love.

"When the cracks first started to show, Guy would plead with her to spend more time with him but she wouldn't. She'd insist she did her four-hour workout. They've been apart so much in the last two years that their opportunities to make love would have been fairly limited. They've also been in separate rooms a lot after big rows so there wasn't any chance to make up."

It has also been claimed that Guy, 40, found 50-year-old Madonna's super-toned body a turn-off, and yearned for the soft, womanly curves she had when they first fell in love after meeting in 1999.

The 'RocknRolla' director is reported to have confided in a friend he was finding his superstar star spouse less attractive the more fitness obsessed she became.

The pal told Britain's News of the World newspaper: "After a few drinks one evening, Guy said it was like cuddling up to a piece of gristle. All the soft feminine tones had been replaced by the build of an athlete."

Guy might like a nice marble of fat, but it seems that Alex Rodriguez likes the challenge of stringy, chewy meat. Apparently A-Rod and Madge are still hitting it, and she wants him to put a fetus in her half-century-old uterus. According to the Daily Mail:

Madonna, 50, is hoping she can have a natural child with Rodriguez, despite her age.

The singer is planning her future with the American baseball player, it emerged last night.

There is no suggestion that Madonna has to date had a physical relationship with Rodriguez.

However, a friend said: 'She thinks he's physically a great specimen. And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her.'

Yeah, we don't believe this story AT ALL. What's more likely is that Madonna will see A-Rod's kids, stick her special "I claim this child in the name of Madonna" flag in them, and make them start calling her Mommy. Pregnancy is just too time consuming.


See Madonna nudeóand a little less muscle-boundóat MrSkin.com.

Madonna is reportedly at the centre of a sex tape scandal. A cameraman claims to have a video of Madonna and baseball player Alex Rodriguez romping on a sofa. He is trying to sell the tape – allegedly shot with a hidden camera in an apartment owned by a friend of the cameraman which was used by the couple for secret liaisons – for £1 million.

The unnamed owner of the tape claims he visited the property and hid a camera, pointed at the sofa which captured the X-rated footage two months ago.

A legal source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper that the implications of the secret filming could be dire for the cameraman, saying: "If footage was obtained in this way it would be an outrageous invasion of privacy. But more than that he would not have had his friend's consent to install the camera and must have entered the apartment without approval to hide it.

"He would be guilty of voyeurism. Instead of making a million he'd be going to jail for a few years."

In similar big-breasted-blondes-with-knuckleheads news, there may also exist a tape featuring Jessica Simpson having God-sanctioned matrimonial sexual intercourse with ex-husband Nick Lachey. Says Showbiz Spy:

Rumours have emerged that a sex tape starring Jessica Simpson will appear online. According to the Daily Sport, the home movie, which features popstar and actress Simpson engaging in a number of sex acts with her ex-husband Nick Lachey, has been acquired by the same people who released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's holiday sex video.

A source said: "Jessica is horrified her name and 'sex tape' are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."

The tape will reportedly be distributed online unless Simpson pays an undisclosed fee to keep it out of the public domain.

Listen, Madonna and Jessica. That's all fine and good that you're copulating on camera, but in the last couple of years, the celebrity sex tape bar has been raised quite a bit. We've had golden showers, night vision, wieners on dames, and midgets. If you want to make it in this cutthroat, dog-eat-dog world, you're going to have to step it up. And actually cut throats or eat dogs. Soon to be a Belladonna release, coming to a video store near you.

Jessica Simpson at her sexiest at MrSkin.com.

And Madonna is NAKED at MrSkin.com.

A biography by the Queen of Popís brother claims to lift the lid on Madgeís sexual conquests, love affairs, drug-taking and rows with husband GUY RITCHIE.

And it will tell how Madonna, now 49, flirted with Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow at a glamorous New Year party thrown by leading fashion designer DONATELLA VERSACE.

The Like A Virgin singer was dancing on a table at 4am when she dragged Gwyneth up to join her.

Younger brother Christopher Ciconne will tell how he watched as the pair started dancing together.

Then ó as party-goers watched in amazement ó Madonna grabbed Gwynnie, pulled her to her and kissed the stunned Hollywood star full on the mouth.

Oh my God, we are so shocked. Madonna has never done anything this shocking. (Yawn.) We can't believe she kisses girls. Our world is shattered, life has ended, etc, etc, etc. What's next, brother Christopher? Are you going to tell us that Madonna dyes her hair?


Madonna will shock you right out of your pants at MrSkin.com.

Alex Rodriguez has made "numerous" late-night visits to Madonna's Central Park West apartment, according to a published report.

Rodriguez, 32, has been seen arriving alone, according to US Weekly, and sneaks out of Madge's building "as late as midnight," a source told the magazine, adding, "all the doormen are talking."

OK! magazine also noticed the budding friendship between the Material Girl and A-Rod. "They met briefly at a charity event and that's it," the singer's publicist told the magazine.

Madonna has been shacked up in her posh Manhattan apartment – without her husband – for more than a week. Ritchie arrived in New York Monday night in a reported attempt to salvage their marriage.

We know about as much about the New York Yankees as we know about Guy Ritchie movies, so this is pretty much a draw for us, although we do look forward to Madge returning to her hyper-accentuated New York personality of the early '80s. That accent really was the best fit for her.

And now on to Sandy. She said some things about Madonna. Things that were mean. We think. Page Six reports:

While Ritchie was jetting here from London – perhaps to try to save his foundering marriage to the Material Mom – Bernhard just ripped her in Toronto, going off on a rant when one fan shouted, "Are you still friends with Madonna?"

"She . . . descended into this mad, dark, five-minute freestyle, where she mercilessly mocked the Queen of Pop by repeatedly chanting, 'We Only Got Four Minutes to Save the World,' [and] at one point screamed, 'My chicken is raw!' " reports Toronto columnist Shinan Govani. "After all that, she paused pregnantly and asked, deadpan: 'Does that answer your question?' "

No. No, it doesn't. Is Sandra saying that her chicken is raw because of Madonna? And is chicken code name for her tuna taco? And if so does that mean that Madonna is so sexually potent that all these years later Bernhard's beaver still hasn't recovered from its encounter with the Material Girl? Because if so we've finally got our answer to how Madonna continues to be relevant.


Madge shows vadge at MrSkin.com.

And Sandy gives up her candy too.