CelebNewsWire» Alessandra Ambrosio Archives – CelebNewsWire

Pretty Ladies in Their Skivvies

Agent E. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:33:38 +0000

You might wonder why we’re bothering to yammer on about supermodels in their underwear when we’ve got actual naked supermodels to talk about, but you know what? Fuck it. We like the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show and we don’t care who knows it. Heidi Klum’s usually there, and she’s pretty and funny and we like her. We bet if she got some poop smeared on her face while changing one of her bairns, she’d just laugh it off, maybe even take a few pictures, put one on her Christmas card with the caption “I got shit on my kisser.” That just seems like the kind of broad she is. Plus, Vicky’s S always puts together some ridiculous diamond-covered monstrosity that costs somewhere in the neighborhood of Simon Cowell’s weekly salary and looks like it would give a girl lots of unsightly scratches and a heap of back pain.

There are a bunch more VS fashion show pics at Yeeeah!, if you’re so inclined.

Also, don’t be a dick. Be our fan on Facebook.

Hey Look! Pretty Ladies in Bikinis!

Agent E. — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:48:51 +0000

We’re still hungover from Halloween (we went as sexy Sonia Sotomayor, in case you were wondering), so we’re taking the easy way out today: bikini pictures! But we kind of think that you don’t mind. Hell, you’ve proven that all you care about are tits anyway. As long as some portion of them is on display in some manner, you’re happy. Sure, you might skim over those silly stories about Paris Hilton and a camel, but really, you’re just here for the boobs. Christina Ricci and Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio both look marginally attractive clad in small pieces of spandex, so enjoy!

CNW Junk Drawer: Extra Special "All Sexy Ladies" Edition

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:05:25 +0000

Jessica Alba ass, all wrapped up with a bow. (IDLYITW)
Lady Gaga has tape on her nipples, so they won’t poke-her-face. ZING! (Jezebel)
Cheerleader coach Carlie Becker, who was shitcanned for posing for Playboy. Rah rah, sis boob bah. (Bitten and Bound)
Jordana Brewster in Maxim. You’ll masturbate fast and/or furiously. (Gone Hollywood)
Evan Rachel Wood plus lingerie plus sexy plus gun minus Manson equals GQ spread. (ICYDK)
Alessandra Ambrosio poses for Homem Vogue and she’s pretty much naked. A G-string, after all, is just a few woven threads away from bunghole. (The Daily Fix)

It's Back to the Ole Grindstone for Alessandra Ambrosio

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:46:25 +0000

Swimsuit model Alessandra Ambrosio had her first baby in August. And now, three months later, she is returning to work with a photoshoot involving highly skimpy swimwear. And we have to say: revolting. Look at how her body has been ruined by the childbearing process. The loose, hanging folds of flesh. The stretch marks. The swollen, leaking nipples. The beastly cottage cheese thighs. Honestly, she should be ashamed to go out in public, let alone in a get-up like that. Excuse us, we're going to go take the rest of the day off and lie down for a while. The sight of this gorgon has given us the vapors.

Alessandra Ambrosio gets sexy at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Leg-Spreading and Fetus-Getting

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:31:22 +0000

ï Cleava Mendes. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï "Dear Brad Renfro. We came over to fuck you but you were dead. Love, Tiffany and Amber." Rest in peace, Brad. (Fatback and Collards)

ï We want to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!", honestly we do, but we just can't when she keeps flipping us her outer labes. (Taxi Driver)

ï Jenna Jameson swears that she will "never spread her legs" for the porn industry again. She will spread Philadelphia's whipped strawberry cream cheese, though. It's the wonderfully spreadable, sweetly fruity topping with only 60 calories per serving! (IDLYITW)

ï Alessandra Ambrosio caught Pregnant, too. (The Blemish)

ï Zac Efron was rushed to the emergency room for an emergency highlighting. Those buttery chunks ain't gonna streak themselves. (Derek Hail)

ï Lumps on Halle Berry's torso: now there are three. (Daily Stab)

ï "Now that bulbs flashing more than ever/You can see under my dress, fellas. Ellas. Ellas. Ay. Ay." (Cityrag)

ï Jennifer Garner may have been the original target of Tom's Cruise missile of love. (Superficial)

CNW Junk Drawer: Ambrosio of the Gods

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:41:34 +0000

ï Model Alessanda Ambrosio is out Victoria's Secret undies. Yayyy! And into a bikini. Boooo. No, wait. Yay. (Egotastic!)

ï "I'm Fat Shady, yes I'm the Fat Shady, all you other Fat Shadys are just imatatin'." (Cityrag)

ï We can't improve on this original headline: 1 Hayden, 2 Cups. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Penelope Cruz and very attractive sister wear clothes, look pretty, have picture taken. (Daily Stab)

ï Due to the writers' strike, the Golden Globes will be much less golden; globular. (Yeeeah!)

ï Blake Lively's schnozz: from Sevigny to sliced. (Radar Online)

ï Mariah Carey actually would rather be onstage with J. Lo than a pig after all. Good to know. (Celebitchy)

ï Britney's car was impounded. There was no way for her to avoid bein' grounded. Her parents had to come up from vacation and get me, I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me. So tell you all the kids all across the land, there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand. Dee doo doo doo. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Bono completes the final phase of his slow transformation into Robin Williams. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Not even MC Skat Kat can save Paula Abdul from crazy's grasp now. (The Blemish)

ï Britney dresses her offspring as golf caddies. Or, possibly, Andre 3000. (Allie Is Wired)

Fergie and Alessandra Ambrosio Get Literal

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 09 May 2007 17:45:35 +0000

New trend alert! Fergie and supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio graciously wearing labeled garments that handily point out what said items are, and/or to be used for. Fashion comes in cycles, and it's exciting to be able to hit storage and bust out our 1982 mug that says "mug", bag that says "Le Bag", and Le Car once again. Yes, we can fit a Le Car into our cedar chest. It's a big cedar chest, F U.

Milky milky cocoa puff. Milky milky riiiiiight. Fergie's at MrSkin.com.