Tag Archives: advertisements
Keeley Hazell Saves Animals with Breasts
PETA is probably the most reviled group of capital letters outside of NAMBLA. They do stuff that makes the most hardcore of animal activists ashamed. And the worst thing they’ve ever done is create that “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” ad campaign because none of the women are actually naked in it! I [...]
Eva Mendes Promotes Underwear, Nipple
Eva Mendes has a movie in production called You Look Nice Today. The same might be said for Eva herself, especially when she is greased up like a shoat at the state fair and grabbing at a dude’s woody. PopEater reports:
A giant Calvin Klein billboard starring a sweaty and nearly naked Eva Mendes is stopping [...]
Megan Fox to Wear Underwear Professionally
Despite being fair of face and figure and having a very photogenic tongue, Megan Fox isn’t doing so hot. Jennifer’s Body turned out to be a box-office failure, her director and Transformers crew hate her, and she’s still porking Brian Austin Green. But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Rubber Duckie, You’re the One
A preview of Keeley Hazell’s 2010 “Erotic” Calendar. It’s especially erotic if you like vintage vacuum cleaners and oversized novelty bath duckies. (Yeeeah!)
Karina Smirnoff would rather dance naked then wear fur. Well, good, then. Why don’t you just do that? (The Blemish)
Lindsay Lohan hand job! Oh, wait. It says Lindsay Lohan lands a job. Eh, [...]
Keira Knightley’s Pumped-up Puffies Shill Perfume
The thing about Keira Knightley, see, is that even though she loves to talk about tits and show tits and tits tits tits, she doesn’t really have any. Which makes her an odd choice to go topless in an ad to sell perfume for Chanel. If you want to say, “Hey ladies, wear this smelly [...]
She Ain't Heavy, She's My Kardashian
Hell hath no fury like a bastion of discounted ruched knit scorned by a woman with an ass like a zeppelin. Foxy fatass Kim Kardashian is reportedly very upset that US Weekly recently used her name and likeness in a blurb about an upcoming plus sized fashion line from Jesus-loving teen clothing shop Forever 21. [...]
A Corkin' Good ScarJo
The alluring, monster-hootered never-nude Scarlett Johansson has a rep as a classy lassie. So it makes sense that she's been named as the face of Moet & Chandon champagne. Just like it would make sense if Chris Brown was named the face of assholism or Fergie was named the face of Denny Johnson's Crystal Meth [...]
Padma Lakshmi Gets Licky with a Burger
We’re just going to do it. We’re going to rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with. It’s going to hurt, it’s going to be messy, but in the end we can put it behind us and never think about it again, right? Well, that is until we’re trying to relax at home, catching [...]
Lindsay: Sam n' Tan
We've not heard much from Lindsay Lohan and jaunty hat stand/lesbian girlfriend Samantha Ronson lately. We assume that's because we thought they broke up. But no, they were just having a love spat, and they had another lulu the other night. For the full scoop, let's turn to our own personal gossip blackjack dealer, Female [...]
CNW Mini Junk Drawer: "I'm Only Dating Him Because I Love You"
There is NOTHING happening today. NOTHING. So, like a mom giving her child a pot and wooden spoon to play with, we're handing you some links to keep you entertained. Sorry. Don't blame us, blame the boring celebrities.
ï Alex Rodriguez is mad because Madonna's stepping out publicly with some other dude! Even though he [...]
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Also tagged Alex Rodriguez, Britney Spears, celebrity hookups, frivolous lawsuits, Madonna, Pamela Anderson, Sam Lutfi, Scarlett Johansson
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