CelebNewsWire» Adrianne Curry Archives – CelebNewsWire

Adrianne Curry Tweets Teats

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:59:18 +0000

Adrianne Curry is America’s First Next Top Model and Mrs. Peter Brady, so as far as reality royalty goes, she’s Prince Albert. In a can. And speaking of cans, she got on Twitter just like Jessica Simpson but instead of issuing a plea to a hungry coyote, she posted a couple of first-person view pictures of her new boobs in a bikini at the beach. Although from this angle, it kind of looks a bit like the butt-end of a mollusk with particularly bronzed antennae sliming its way along a post-apocalyptic sandscape, it’s still a nice shot of her plastic surgeon’s work. Who knew that the little TV boy in the striped shirt who uttered “pork chopsh and appleshaush” would grow up to choose such a consort? Guess that tiki head wasn’t bad luck after all.

Curry Too Spicy for Brady

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:59:08 +0000

Ah, the curse of the couples reality show. Only Trista and Ryan remain standing amongst the Mystically-tanned ashes of Nick and Jessica, Bret and Jes, Flav and Brigitte, New York and a bunch of dudes, etc. And now, it seems that America's First Top Model, Adrianne Curry, and the middle Brady may be adding themselves to the refuse. Reports ABC Action News:

Former Brady Bunch star Christopher Knight threatened to leave his model wife Adrianne Curry when she posed for sexy lesbian photos (NSFW link!) – as a birthday gift.

The incident, which was caught on camera for upcoming reality show My Fair Brady… Maybe Baby, left the upset actor suggesting the couple separate.

The girl-on-girl photos, which Curry has since repeated with a pal for Playboy magazine, were supposed to end a feud over baby plans – but they started a new one.

In the tense episode, which will air in January, Knight says of the photo gift, "It is the physicalisation of my worst fears. It creeps me out. I want a separation."

We informally polled the men here at CelebNewsWire HQ, and it seems that Peter Brady has a case, because "my loved one presenting me with a gift of hot lesbo pics" nearly topped the list of "creepiest and worst relationship fears worthy of a separation". Right under "my loved one bringing Heidi Klum home for some no-strings-attached bicurious threesome action" and "my loved one bringing Heidi Klum and Monica Bellucci home for some no-strings-attached bicurious foursome action"

See what Brady's banging: Mrs. Knight is at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Freakishly Huge Testicles

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 17:22:48 +0000

ï Kylie Minogue's been given the cancer all-clear. And, apparently, the all-clear to get unceremoniously dumped by that one guy who was in S.W.A.T.

ï Whoops, Eminem and Kim are NOT engaged again after all. They're married! Just funnin'.

ï Anna Paquin gets see through. But don't touch her! Or she'll suck out your life force! Ahahaha! Hahahaha! Because . . . because she's Rogue. Get it? Um.

ï Heather Graham. Bridget Moynahan. Movie lesbians. Suck on that, Tom Brady.

ï Adrianne Curry is very, very surprised that America's Next Top Model wasn't the key to setting the modeling world alight.

ï Christina Aguilera cooks in the nude for her husband. Most likely, bananas foster. Because he's a monkey, see.

ï Seeing as how Drew Barrymore has a fetish for annoying, facially unfortunate men (Tom Green, that dude from Hole, etc.), it's no surprise to learn that she may be rubbing her business onto the smug, Shandling-esque mug of Zach Braff.

ï Mischa Barton has allegedly dumped Cisco Adler not because he has freakishly huge testicles, but because everyone now knows that he has freakishly huge testicles.

ï Charlize Theron is getting sued for not wearing fancypants expensive free watches for tons of scratch. What a world! What a world!

ï Anne Hathaway is all "Oh, boo hoo hoo hoo hoo! I have beautiful hair! Waaaaah, my rack is rotund and perfect! Booooo, I'm famous and stunning! Pooooor me! Wah wah cry sob sob wah."

CNW Junk Drawer: Federlohan

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 17:23:57 +0000

ï Halle Berry might be preggo. For no other reason than to stick it to Julia Roberts.

ï Justin Timberlake is just not that into Cameron Diaz. Sound the death gong.

ï Adrianne Curry dons her new plastic breasts on the red carpet.

ï Owen Wilson will break up a lady's marriage, then refuse to commit to her. Don't you know he's loco?

ï Oh, Kid Rock. You may be an "American Badass" but you cannot beat up Tommy Lee OR a family of four.

ï And to think we were one chlamydia-riddled hookup away from Federlohan!

ï Console yourselves with more pictures of more Lohan in yet another bikini.

ï You might keep calling Rosie fat and lezboish, Donald Trump, but you know what? Your wife is naked. That's right. We said it. Naked. How you gonna get out of this one, Trump? Huh? Huh?

ï Though Donald might allow soiled Miss USA Tara Connor to pose for Playboy. Somewhere, right now, Vanessa Williams is saying, "aw HELL no."

ï Pam Anderson really classed it up for her Howard Stern appearance.

ï Leo DiCraprio has jumped on the bandwagon and adopted an African child. Well, like, she won't be coming back to America to live in his palatial homes or eat food prepared by his personal chef or be educated in the finest schools. She'll stay in her homeland and every once in a while Leo will send her a check or call her on the phone. So basically she's not getting a dad, she's getting a deadbeat dad. Nice.

Peter Brady Fondles Adrianne's Pork Chops and Applesauce

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 31 May 2005 18:12:27 +0000

The life of a former child star is usually not a charmed one. Sure, every once in a while you'll get your Lindsay Lohans or your Liz Taylors or your Brooke Shieldseses. But for every kiddie actor who manages to make the switch to legitimate adult star (and we don't mean porn), there are five Dana Platos, Mackenzie Phillipses, or (God forbid) Joey Lawrences. That's why the curious case of Chris Knight is so fascinating. He was Peter Brady, he grew up, he was well-adjusted, he went on a reality show, and he ended up greasing up his model/TV star girlfriend at the Lingerie Bowl. Does not compute.

Wondering why Chris Knight looks so happy in these pics? Of course you're not wondering, it's fucking obvious: He's elbow-deep in grease, smearing it across the scarily well-formed buttocks and cleavage chasm of his real-life lady love, America's First Top Model Adrianne Curry. How did he find himself in such a position? I mean, all of America watched this dude's voice break on national television! He appeared, clad in elephant bells and a Nehru jacket, in the homes of millions! We're tearing at our hair with our hands, rolling on the ground and moaning. We don't understand. We don't understand.

Oh yeah, more Lingerie Bowl pics here.

And Adrianne, nude, at MrSkin.com.

America's Next Top Stripper?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 07 Feb 2005 17:33:16 +0000

What is it about going to Scores with Marcus Schenkenberg that makes Surreal Life costars mysteriously jump onstage and drop their tops?

Adrianne Curry, the winner of the very first season of America's Next Top Model (and has she been setting the modeling world on fire since, or what? Are we right or are we right?) was spotted at the trendy strip club not with her one-time Surreal Life love, Peter Brady, but with Schenkenberg. Apropos of nothing, she hopped onstage and shimmied shirtlessly for the crowd.

In case you're thinking, "Jeepers, this sounds awfully familiar," you're right! The he-model was seen last month at Scores West with she-Hulk Chyna, who dropped trou and swung her ambiguous genitalia around the joint with the greatest of ease. Curry didn’t go bottomless, but she did one-up Chyna by doling out free lap dances to patrons. Now that’s just delightful, but it doesn’t answer the question: is Schenkenberg juggling two Surreal broads at the same time? Two words: cage match.

Jane Wiedlin "Head Over Heels" for Top Model

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 16:51:20 +0000

Turns out Chyna and Marcus Schenkenberg weren't the only Surreal Lifers struck by Cupid's arrow. Actually, we think there may be an entirely different winged cherub assigned to reality-show stars, whose arrows incite their targets to drink too much and slurringly flash their genitalia, or grope former child stars in hot tubs.

Jane Wiedlin, the self-professed "pretty much bisexual" Go-Go's guitarist, revealed to Out.com that she and America's First Next Top Model, Adrienne Curry, hooked up in the Surreal Life house. "The last night at dinner we each had these cards on the table from the producers, which had our final task we had to do," Jane explained. "And Adrianneís said that she and I had to make out on camera, because she and I were doing it the entire time off camera and mocking the camera crew because they kept missing it." Delicious!

In less delicious news, Jane confirms (sort of) that Chyna is, indeed, of the female persuasion: "Well, I saw her naked with a tampon string hanging out. But I donít know if thatís proof. I donít think sheís a man."