Britney Spears' paparazzo ex-boyfriend has revealed he owns a sex tape starring himself and the former Mouseketeer ñ and he will sell it, if the price is right.

Adnan Ghalib, the shutterbug and former flame who infamously dated Brit during her breakdown, told Heat magazine, "There is such a tape, but I won't discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries. Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further."

The alleged adult footage, which was filmed in Mexico, runs about two hours and features the singer wearing nothing but a pink wig, an unconfirmed source tells Britain's The Sun newspaper.

Of course, "sources" say there is no such tape, but c'mon. We all know it's out there. Whether it's with Adnan or KFed or Paris Hilton or a rabid coyote that wandered into her yard, there is some variety of Britney Spears sex tape somewhere in the universe. Only problem is, it's probably from a time in Brit's life when she was more scary than sexy, and watching it will probably make you sad. Unless of course you have no soul, then jerk away.


Britney Spears shows her sexy side at MrSkin.com.

"Word is that the video starts with Britney undressing," said the insider. "She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there in Rosarito. The sex wasn't particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout. At one point in the tape Adnan asks the singer to remove the pink bob but she refused. "Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, 'Take what off? There's nothing left to take off.'"

Well thank Christ for this mysterious source who's there to tell us that an episode of sexual intercourse begins with one of the parties removing clothing. Man, that sounds filthy! We're left wondering what completely lewd and depraved shit happened next. Kissing? Touching?

Britney shows it off at MrSkin.com.

An insider told how "Toxic" singer Britney, 26, confronted Adnan after two video clips showing him out with mystery girls were posted on internet blogs. n one, he was caught briefly holding hands with a woman as they left a restaurant. Britney then checked his iPhone ó and saw the sexy texts.

The insider said: ìThere were about a dozen from one girl, all sent on one day. They were pretty saucy stuff with sexual references ó certainly not the sort youíd send to just a friend. Britney lost it and started yelling. She was demanding to know who sent the texts and shouting, ëWhatís this about? Youíre cheating on meí.

ìAdnan said the girl was just a friend, but Britney got more and more angry. Then she told him, ëThatís it. Itís overí.

IT was a heart-warming love story for our time. Adnan fell for pop princess Britney the moment he set eyes on her through his long lens – then charmed his way into her life. But The Sun says she is better off without him. Adnan was one low-life frog who was never going to turn into a prince.

ìJust before she told Adnan to go, she took the phone and threw it in the pool right in front of him. He didnít even bother trying to get it out of the water.î

Ah, young love. And speaking bodies of liquid, The Sun also got their hands on a racy, randy note allegedly from Adnan to Britney that reads:

Britney,
Bebe I really miss you, lots, and lots and lots. Can't wait til you come home to a milky bowl of soup. Love you always.
Adnan

I drink your . . . milky soup? I drink it up? Ugh, what the hell.

ï Miley Cyrus publicly apologizes for not wearing her seat belt. No seat belt is a slippery slope that leads headlong into Crotchflashtown and San Rehabton. (IMDb)

ï Emma "Hermione" Watson gets slimed by Kirsten Dunst's leftovers. (The Sun)

ï Bai Ling arrested for hamburglaring some gossip rags and a pack of batteries from an airport gift shop. Maybe she wanted to power up her G-spotter to use while gazing at herself in the fashion "What Were They Thinking?" section. (Celebitchy)

ï Oh, shut your tamalehole, J. Lo. Nobody wants to steal your dumb old crusty old babies. (The Blemish)

ï The Madamism of Hollywood. Waylon Flowers would be delighted. (Cityrag)

ï Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, that sitter of hers is A number one. (HolyTaco)

ï Amy Winehouse upgrades to Blake v. 2.0: all the creepiness none of the jail. Now with Magic-Gro Hair! (The Superficial)

ï Aguilera debuts her infink. (Daily Stab)

ï Kristen Bell gets rung! (Don't Link This)

TMZ has been reporting for weeks that Britney's family and some professionals in her life have been planning a "creative way" to deal with her mental problems. It looks like the time has arrived.

Sources told TMZ "if it happens," it should happen this week. Last night, Brit's mom, Lynne, her dad, Jamie, cousin Alli, as well as Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib all showed up at Britney's house and were all there at the same time.

Brit's mom and dad (and others) have known for months that a bipolar disorder — and not substance abuse — is at the root of her problems. They cannot involuntarily commit her (impossible under these circumstances) and Brit has refused to voluntarily enter a hospital or even undergo evaluation for the problem. But now the plan is underway.

Here's what's significant: Britney has not spoken to her mom for a while — no contact at all. Last night, Britney and Lynne (along with Sam) left the house at one point and went to the drugstore, so it seems they are now interacting.

There were signs last night that Britney didn't feel as warm toward her dad, that she didn't want anything to do with him.

This move has been in the planning stages for well over a month. It should begin to unfold IF Britney cooperates, and that is the wild card.

However, Us Weekly reports that last night's coming together of Team Spears was a little more volatile:

Sources tells Us the fight was fueled by Lutfi's insistence she speak to her mother, Lynne, Lutfi wanting her to see a psychologist, as well as Lutfi's refusal to let Spears see her paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib. Spears – who won telephone rights to speak to her kids Monday, according to court papers – then got into the car of another photographer named Felipe, and drove inside the gates of her home. It was then that her pap boyfriend, Ghalib, tried unsuccessfully to gain entry into her gated community. At 9:07 p.m. Spears' father, Jamie, arrived at the Summit home. After sitting outside the gates for a few minutes, he finally went inside. Spears' mother, Lynne, arrived soon after. At around 9.30 p.m. Spears left her home. She was later seen driving around Los Angeles with Ghalib by her side. Shortly after 11 p.m., Spears and Adnan returned to her home. At 11:15 p.m., Spears was spotted returning to the home. Jamie had left at that point. At 1:20 a.m., Spears went to nearby Longs Drugs with her mother, Lynne, and Lutfi.

Fighting with mom and gay BFF, cruising around aimlessly shortly before midnight, running to the drugstore for some late night Zingers. Sounds exactly like our teenage years in suburbia, only with less Denny's coffee and Nine Inch Nails tapes in the deck of the Dodge Omni, and more stretch marks.

Britney Spears has dumped her photographer lover and filed a restraining order against him.

The troubled star ended her relationship with Adnan Ghalib – who she is believed to have started dating last December – after discovering he was cashing in on his romance with her by tipping off his agency FinalPixx with photo opportunities.

Britney got her revenge on Adnan by inviting two photographers from a rival agency into her Los Angeles home at 2am on Sunday (20.01.08), saying: "Come with me, let's have fun."

As the group arrived at the property the singer's manager Sam Lufti brandished a paper he claimed was a restraining order banning Adnan, 35, from making money from photographs of the star.

Britney spent four hours with the two paparazzi drinking champagne and dancing to music including singer Amy Winehouse's album 'Back to Black' and one of her own LPs.

One photographer named Roberto said: "We had fun. Britney was funny, very relaxed, dancing a little bit and she carried her little dog all the time. Sam was telling us to not worry about Adnan because they have filed a restraining order against him."

Adnan – who was pictured buying pregnancy tests with Britney last week – insists is unaware of any restraining order because he has been at a family funeral.

He said in a statement issued on the FinalPixx website: "All I can say is that I have not been in contact with Britney since early Friday morning (18.01.08). The reason being that I had to attend a family funeral in Santa Barbara. My phone has been off during this time out of respect for my family. I am only now becoming aware of what is being said. I hope to be back home in Los Angeles soon and to be in contact with Miss Spears."

The Los Angeles police department say they are "not aware" of any emergency protective order issued against Adnan.

This is probably just Britney's way of rehearsing for her next music video. We hear she's thinking of employing every pap in L.A. as a backup singer/dancer in an effort to rid the streets of all qualified photographers. It's genius.

"Got some blessed news…a celebration of life and bounty…a newborn conceived…yes, my girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together…it's 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far…we are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being a mother and a father, and sheparding him or her through this life……from moms and dads, to family, to community, it takes the best will and support from everyone to raise the healthiest children we have in society…..thanks for bein fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and camila and our child do our best to just keep livin….wow, mcconaughey"

Wow, indeed. But that's our Matthew. He just keeps livin. L-I-V-I-N. This news almost made us forget about that weird threeway he had going with Lance Armstrong and Jake Gyllenhaal. We are definitely ready to see him use his masculine wiles to steal Kate Hudson's heart in his upcoming film, Fool's Gold. In theaters everywhere February 8th, 2008. Check local listings.

On the other side of the masculine scale (that would be the short, dumpy, womaninzing side), David Spade has also knocked up a female. TMZ reports:

TMZ has learned that a 22-year-old Playboy Playmate is claiming that David Spade is the father of her unborn child. Holy Jamie Lynn!

Jillian Grace, Miss March 2005, is alleging that she had a relationship with the comedian, resulting in her becoming pregnant. Grace was discovered by Playboy after posing for test shots on the Howard Stern show.

Spade tells TMZ, "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility."

We've never understood how David Spade continually lands super hot ladies. He originated the "____ called. They want their ____ back" joke, which should be cause enough for life-long forced celibacy. Plus, he's David Spade. The only thing we can come up with is that his dick must be as tall as he is.

Gwynnie's mystery trip to the ER may have been due to a problem with a festering fetus. The New York Daily News reports:

Did a pregnancy complication put Gwyneth Paltrow in the hospital?

Husband Chris Martin was seen pushing the Oscar winner into Mount Sinai Medical Center here Monday.

"They looked very serious," a witness tells us. "She looked upset. They went right past everyone and into the elevator. It seemed like they were expected."

Paltrow's rep, Stephen Huvane, declined to discuss what was wrong with the actress, who last year underwent knee surgery. "She's fine," said Huvane, adding that Paltrow had returned home.

But our spy did report that Martin and Paltrow entered Mount Sinai's maternity wing, the Klingenstein Pavilion.

Last August, Paltrow, 35, told an interviewer she and Martin wanted to expand their family, which now has daughter Apple, 3, and son Moses, 1. While Martin wanted to adopt, she said she was open to having "two [babies] in a row, really quick again."

Huvane called speculation about a troubled pregnancy "guesswork at best. This is a private matter not for public consumption."

We guess that shoots our theory to hell. After all, sense of humor implantation is usually relegated to the plastic surgery ward.

Is it possible that international vibrator spokesperson Eva Longoria has a different small, quivering object in her poot shoot? Pagesix.com says they spy a mighty baby bump, but Eva counters that she's just filled to the brim with enchiladas.

"No pregnancy, not yet. I've been cooking and eating, cooking and eating. I keep telling everyone that I've gained 10 pounds just being on strike."

Maybe if the strike continues Eva will balloon to 250 pounds, making her unemployable and therefore unable to further denigrate the careers of perfectly lovable actors like Paul Rudd. Why, Paul Rudd, why?

And, finally, Britney says, "Look at me! Look at me!" by perusing the home-pregnancy-test aisle. Why not, right? She's already tried the failsafe attention getters of teens everywhere–pink hair, head shaving, and public nudity. Plus, Brit really wants to do her part to make Jamie Lynn look sweet and innocent and normal again. And "bipolar barely clothed sister who has no legal right to see her existing children gets knocked up by married stalkerazzi boyfriend" trumps "16-year-old with child" any day.