Sutton Pierce Federline Is Not What He Seems

Darling little bundle of secondhand bong smoke Sutton Pierce Federline turned one month old yesterday, although we all have yet to receive official confirmation from the Spears-Federline camp. In a recent radio interview, K-Fed let it slip that not only might the child's name not be Sutton Pierce, but that he might be a she. At this point, we're not even sure Britney gave birth to a baby and not, say, a pangendered Schmoo.

Kev appeared on some wacky Seattle morning show and had the following head-scratching chat with hosts "Jackie and Bender":

Jackie: There’s rumors that Sutton is not a boy. Have you heard that? Kevin: Only from my friends, cause I haven’t told them so I haven’t told them anything and my wife hasn’t spoken to anybody about anything, so… Bender: Cause word has it that she’ll reveal the news the week your cd drops. Kevin: Um, I don’t know, that might be all rumors too. Jackie: Isn’t that strange when you hear that, when you have a child and people tell you the sex is a different one. Kevin: Yeah it’s crazy. Well it’s even crazier when people are telling me my child’s name. Bender: Oh so Sutton is not the baby’s name— Kevin: Oh yeah there you go.

Yes, Kevin, there we go, indeed. Sutton might be named Sutton but he might not be, and he might be a boy and he might be a girl, and Kevin Federline is a shitty friend who won't even tell his peeps about his baby, and the baby might, in fact, be used as a publicity pawn to sell its father's shoddy (c)rap music. Yes, indeed, everything is crystal clear now.
Britto, before her stint as a Federline offspring factory, is at MrSkin.com.