When we heard about the Jolie-Pitt children being spoiled little terrors and doing every asshole kid thing short of flinging feces on mom and dad (in which case, those would end up being some sexy, sexy feces), we thought, “No! This can’t be. They are prefect angels sent straight from Heaven to teach us about true perfection.” But when we heard that Suri Cruise is fighting Chris Brown for the title of A ASSHOLE, we thought, “Yeah, we figured.” Star reports (via Celebitchy):
“Tom dotes on Suri,” the insider says. “He lets her do anything she wants, from eating cupcakes for breakfast to drawing on the walls. He never says no to her.”
“Katie is worried that Suri will turn into a spoiled brat no one will want to be around,” the source continues. “Some days, Suri won’t even let Katie touch her hair.” And the staff are too frightened of losing their jobs to stand in Suri’s way.
“If Suri wants to draw pictures on Tom mahogany paneling, she does. Tom’s already had to replace the paneling twice in six months!”
Of course that’s how it goes in the Cruise household. Even Tom realizes that Suri is the future overlord of Earth, and denying her any wish, no matter how small or damaging to her present human form, would result in a future filled with Saw-like revenge. It’s best to let the kid have her way now in hopes that Supreme Master Suri will one day allow Tom to act as a pet instead of a torture victim.
P.S. Where have Tom’s other kids been? We’re pretty sure we haven’t seen them in at least a year. Is Suri practicing her future powers by keeping her older siblings locked in a basement somewhere?
