Star Jones to Propagate Self

If you felt a twinge of dread upon waking this morning, it wasn't just the realization that your office job is sapping your will to live. It was your brain telepathically picking up the news that Star Jones and her cute, cuddly, closety hubby Al want to have a baby. Good thing Halloween is almost here--she can dress up her vagina as an adult male anus and make those dreams come true!

That was mean, but we are cold, mean, terrible people. Oh, like you didn't know Al was a Friend of Dorothy. Please.
At any rate, Star has plenty of time on her hands now that she's been forcibly yanked off the E! red carpet with a giant novelty hook. And what better way to fill up one's time (and one's hungry, hungry belly) than with a real human baby? The divine Ms. Stahhh says, "I'm 43, and although my body is still capable of carrying a baby, maybe, I'm not sure that it will be an easy process . . . We both decided that if it doesn't happen naturally, that adoption is the definite way for us to go. So we know that if we wanted to have children . . . we would bring a baby into adoption and it would be born in our hearts--and would be the most spoiled kid in the world, you better believe it!" Oh, we believe it!
Furthermore, expect Star to keep bringing home the bacon while Al stays home and plays Mr. Mom. A friend of the Jones-Reynoldseses told the Enquirer: "Star wants so much to be a mom that Al sees himself holding diapers and bottles all day instead of a calculator and business spreadsheets like he does now." And we're pretty up on the hip lingo of the gay community, so we can tell you exclusively that "calculator" and "business spreadsheets" are codewords for "Robbie Williams CDs" and "new Williams-Sonoma catalog".
MrSkin.com does not have naked pictures of Star Jones, thank the good lord. But they do have nudes of Cate Blanchett. She's pretty!