If It Makes You Crappy

We are all for doing good things for the environment. Our friend Jill told us that eating hamburgers and French fries and drinking beer every day is totally good for the environment, so we try to do our part. And she should know. She saw An Inconvenient Truth. And that's really the best thing you can do to save trees and fossil fuels and baby pandas and duckies. But Sheryl Crow is taking things a bit too far by trying to limit the amount of toilet paper people can use. We're not sure if that will save the planet, but it's definitely a good way for her to get the nickname Sheryl "Poopyhands" Crow.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Singer Sheryl Crow wants global restrictions on using toilet paper in an attempt to save the environment.

The star, who has been touring U.S. colleges to raise awareness about global warming, believes that people should use "one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required."

The BBC reports Crow says on her website, "I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting."

What's next in your plan to destroy the American experience, Poopyhands? Are you going to take away such stench obscuring items as perfume, deodorant, and vanilla jasmine soy candles until the entire planet smells like a subway station? Or maybe you'll pass a law requiring people to hug every stranger they pass on the street. Fucking hippie.

Sheryl is definitely not poopyhanded at MrSkin.com.