Seeing Lindsay Lohan’s Beautiful Face Should Be Payment Enough for Goods and Services

It’s officially over. What, you ask? Lindsay Lohan’s career. But how do we know? Is it because we are other-level geniuses who see into the eye of celebrity and discern all of its most closely guarded secrets? Well, yes, but also because we read People. That tells us a lot. Like how Lindsay wasn’t able to get free hooch. Sure, straight-to-ABC-Family movies are bad, but getting denied free booze truly signals the end of a celebrity’s career. The sages at People (via PopEater) report that Lindsay freaked when an L.A. bar had the audacity to ask her to pay for two bottles of champagne she and a friend downed. A source said:

When the bartender gave her a bill, she had a meltdown. She was yelling at him and screaming profanities at everyone. The bar insisted she pay, so she had to call a friend with her credit-card information.

She was crying and wanted to go home. She kept saying ‘I don’t pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I’m freaking out!’

We’re really hoping that some savvy director will use this tactic to their advantage. Lindsay will show up on set (a few hours late, but she’ll be there eventually) and work for a few days. Then she’ll be like, “Hey, I need to make an installment on these fish lips I bought, I should see where my paycheck is.” Then she’ll approach the director and ask why she hasn’t gotten paid yet and he’ll be all like, “I don’t pay for actors! This is ridiculous! I’m freaking out!”