Did Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt secretly wed? Will their baby be so hot that sex between a full-grown adult and a newborn baby will no longer be taboo? Is Ange jealous of all of Brad's past fucks? The questions, the questions. How will we ever sleep through the night with so many unanswered questions?
According to Ananova (and soon to be reported in Us Weekly), Angelina has been spotted wearing a gold band on that all-important finger. A source said,
"Brad and Angelina have their own secret and the rings are part of it. In her mind, they are married."
So basically Brad and Ange are pulling the same trick we tried in the fourth grade when we wrote up fake adoption papers for our little sister and tried to make her move in with the barren couple down the street. Nobody believed that one either.
But now that Ange is pretending to play wifey, she's getting a little jealous of her whipped man-toy's past. She reportedly reacted badly to the discovery of Brad's ancient, pre-Jen black book.
When Brad returned from a trip she told him that she had "found some of his bimbos' numbers." According to an insider, Brad "grabbed her and held her in a long embrace and told her he couldn't believe that she was the jealous type." A few days later, Angelina surprised Brad with a Blackberry with a note that said: "Call me sometime 'Big Boy', A."
We assume that at this point Ange doesn't really need to beckon Brad to call her. All she has to do when she feels the need the get her muff stuffed or needs someone to pick up her dry cleaning is turn around and give his drooling, dangling tongue a solid yank.
Angelina: unwed and topless at MrSkin.com.
