R.I.P. Scarlett Johansson's Titanic Tits

Here lie Scarlett Johansson's boobs. They were good boobs, an upstanding pair, they gave their all in service to their hot owner. But there comes a time in every tit's life that it just cannot stand the scrutiny any more. It's sick of being ogled, of stealing all of the attention away from other beautiful body parts. Well, actually, maybe it's not the tits' fault. Maybe Scarlett's lovely but often overlooked face is to blame. That face wanted to be in the spotlight for once, so it wouldn't let any food past its lips and just starved and starved those beautiful curves until they began to wither away. Poor boobs. They really deserved better. Maybe they'll come back some day and life will be worth living again.