Let's take a minute to pretend it's 2004. You're looking hot in your Uggs and knit poncho, and Lindsay Lohan is nothing more than a talented teen actress with huge knockers. If our 2009 self had approached you then, stepping out of our futuristic third-generation Prius and showing off our iPhone 3G and told you that one day in the future Lindsay would be a lesbian but it would totally not turn you on AT ALL, would you have believed us? Of course not. Back then you would have thought that lesbian Lindsay Lohan was one of the hottest things that could ever happen to the world. But of course that was before you'd ever seen Sam Ronson. But since you are now in 2009, you will recoil at a story about Sam buying Lindsay sex toys for her birthday. Says our own personal pocket pussy, FemaleFirst:
A source said: "Samantha presented her with a gift guaranteed to create lots of buzz – a big, brightly gift-wrapped basket of sex toys selected by herself. She spent hours shopping Hollywood's erotic emporiums for the items."After giving her the present, the couple returned to Samantha's Los Angeles home to celebrate the actress' special day.
They always say that comedy is all about timing, but this proves that everything in life is all about timing. The addition of five years takes the words "Lindsay Lohan, lesbian, and sex toys" from the ultimate beat-off fantasy to something more akin to your meth head cousin's sex tape.
9 Comments
God she's hot! How did she end up with Lindsay Lohan?
Was one of those sex toys the Jeff Stryker UR3 Latex Dildo?
Y'know…the very idea of Lindsay Lohan having sex with anyone is enough to make me hurl. I mean, GOD! How the Hell did she let herself go like that?
Remember boys and girls to JUST SAY NO to drugs and DJs.
pamela anderson has also jumped onto the celebrity sex toy band wagon. recently a blow up doll with her name was sold in the uk. follow the link above to find it.
You would think she could do better than Sam Ronson.
I'm probably one of only 3 or 4 people not named Lindsay Lohan that actually likes Samantha Ronson. Yes I'm serious.
Sam Ronson would ruin my fantasy too!
Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan?