Hollywood does not exist to hold a mirror up to middle America; it exists to torture your fat ass into thinking that you're a disgusting mound of flesh. And in order to do that its representatives, i.e., actors and models and other pretty people, must remain as lithe as possible through calorie counting, getting their asses kicked by personal trainers, and good old self deprivation. Fail to do this, and your hunk of chunk might get fired, as Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova almost was. Reports Fox (via Celebitchy):
Although she looked simply stunning at last yearís Victoriaís Secret Fashion Show, supermodel Karolina Kurkova has come under harsh criticism for her fuller-than-usual figure over recent months. The 24-year-old was unfairly blasted by the Brazilian media for her ìcellulite and love handlesî after walking in Sao Paulo Fashion Week in June, and was then harshly dubbed ìtoo fatî by fashion critics following the lavish lingerie show in November.Kurkova has told Tarts in the past that her diet is comprised mainly of fresh vegetables, salad and protein. But for several weeks leading up to last yearís Miami show, an inside source said that the supermodel cut carbs altogether, and worked out for hours in an effort to keep up with other super-slim Angels Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr and Marisa Miller.
ìShe was exhausted and didnít get down to where she wanted to be,î said the pal.
Apparently her weight woes may have more to do with a medical condition than with just a lack of willpower. According to an insider, Kurkova joins the ranks of 27 million Americans who suffer from the thyroid disorder hypothyroidism, which interferes with the bodyís metabolism.
We were all set to point and laugh at tubby, but that's kind of sad, actually. So instead we'll move on to someone a bit more fun to laugh at: Russell Crowe. His portliness, however, isn't getting him the can, but his costar. Says our very own Jenny Craig representative, FemaleFirst:
Sienna Miller has reportedly been axed from new movie 'Nottingham' because she would make Russell Crowe look "old and fat".The 26-year-old actress – who had been cast to play Maid Marian in the £110 million reimagining of the Robin Hood story – has been dropped from the film because it was feared lead star Russell would look out of shape in the love scenes.
A source told the New York Post newspaper: "It is a mess. Russell never lost the weight he put on for 'Body of Lies' and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He's so old and fat and she's so young and gorgeous.
"Word is that producers are looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so Crowe doesn't look like a paunchy grandfather. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s."
We think the filmmakers have it all wrong on this one. They've underestimated just how deep hatred for Sienna Miller runs. She's actually the perfect choice to distract from Russell's Biggest Loser audition tape shirtless scenes, because the audience would be too busy yelling "homewrecker" and throwing their own feces at the movie screen to even notice his paunchy poundage. (We're not really sure why Sienna Miller haters would throw their own feces at a movie screen, but they are an excitable lot.)
