It's a slow gossip day, so bear with us as we talk about old biddies and their baby chutes losing their monthly paint jobs. Hey, at least we're not like those assholes who are everywhere today saying Rihanna deserved it. Compared to that, talking about Rosie O'Donnell's shriveling ovaries is like a basket full of fluffy puppies. Reports our very own maxi-pad provider, FemaleFirst:
Madonna is helping Rosie O'Donnell deal with the menopause.The '4 Minutes' singer and the stand-up comedienne have been communicating via email and Rosie says the pop queen has been like a "big sister".
Menopause usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 when a woman's ovaries stop producing oestrogen and signals the end of menstruation.
Speaking on 'The Tyra Banks Show', she said: "Madonna's great, she's a lot like a big sister. When I started having my hormone things, I'm like, 'What the hell is going on?' She's like, 'Get the cream.' "
Openly gay Rosie went to tell former model Tyra and the studio audience intimate details about how her body has been changing.
She said: "Well let me tell you one thing, Tyra, I am about to be 47 next month and 'Aunt Flow' has not shown up for nine months.
"It started for me at 41. I would be in the bed, and I would wake up and the sheets would be soaking wet. Not damp. Soaking wet. I thought, 'Oh my daughter Vivi crawled in here last night and maybe she wet the bed.'
"So I would throw the covers off and turn to look – and there's no Vivi, it's just my partner Kelli. Then I'm like, 'Kelli is incontinent!' And then I realised, no it's me!"
Alright, male readers, if you've come this far, we have some great advice for you. If the ol' thinking about baseball and grandma tricks have run their course in your life and you're having trouble with control, there are plenty of gems in this story to sustain you. "Get the cream." Rosie O'Donnell's wife's incontinence. Rosie O'Donnell's incontinence. Rosie O'Donnell's Aunt Flow. Such rich, rich material. And if none of that works, try this.
