Lately we’ve been so caught up in Michael Jackson’s death turning out to be almost as crazy as his life and Jessica Simpson getting dumped and whatnot that we’ve lost sight of what’s important: hot ladies looking hot in their hot bikinis. Since it’s the middle of the summer, we’ve become a little immune to the sexiness of the bikini. They’re everywhere, and there’s only so much of Audrina Patridge’s fake tits one can take. So it’s nice to see a couple of A-listers showing off their T&A in spandex. We don’t want to be the people who are like, “Jennifer Connelly and Rosario Dawson in bikinis? Pshaw. We would be interested if they were naked” just because it’s July. Because once November rolls around and all we see outside are parkas and turtlenecks we will KILL to see such a lovely sight. See, this is part of the new CelebNewsWire, trying to appreciate what we’re given instead of lamenting what could have been. We will be grateful for an Emma Watson panty-clad upskirt instead of saying, “Damn, why can’t she be more like Britney?” Also part of the new CelebNewsWire? Trying to resist the urge to masturbate in the automotive aisle at Target. First step, destroying our DVD copy of Crash. Maybe that’s too personal for you. We’ll add “Keep our disgusting perversions to ourselves” to the list.
One Comment
I've always preferred lamentation to appreciation myself. Help me.