Renee Zellweger Employs Booger Checker

Umbrella carrier. Weave fluffer. Gum disposal expert. Celebrities need help with a lot of everyday tasks that normal people are forced to do on their own. But if Renée Zellweger needs help wiping her snotty nose, we sure hope she at least offers her assistant 401(k) matching funds and a kick-ass dental plan. London's Mirror reports:

Renee Zellweger's new film should be called Snottyhead rather than Leatherhead, after her nasal antics at the London premiere.

The Hollywood, er, beauty, 38, suffered from embarrassing bogies as she tried to catch up with Georgeous George Clooney along the red carpet on Tuesday night.

But being a true movie star, she couldn't wipe the snot away by herself - oh no. Our Bridget Jones scored an impressive "8" on our Diva-ometer by having a dedicated Andrex Annie to make sure her nose was greenie-free.

We couldn't believe our eyes as a woman armed with a red handkerchief dabbed at Renee's A-list nose as she waited to go into the premiere at Leicester Square.

Taken at face value, the use of a nostril-nugget eradicator before a red-carpet event where a celeb will get her picture taken is not all that ridiculous. What are ridiculous are the further questions it conjures up, such as, "Does Renée require similar assistance for all of her bodily functions, or just those likely to be spied by the public? If Renée were to jump on the upskirt trend, would she need special help in checking for skidmarks before the big event?" We may never know.


Renée nose how to be sexy at MrSkin.com.