Prince Wants To Turn You on . . . To God

Imagine this: You're sitting at home watching The Biggest Loser/masturbating to porn when you hear a knock at the door. You pull up your pants and go to answer it. To your shock and dismay, the man standing just outside your home isn't a Willie Loman type but the man behind "Little Red Corvette." And he's brought along his Bible and a stack of inspirational pamphlets for you to enjoy. According to The San Fransisco Chronicle:

Religious rocker Prince is often chased through the streets by his fans, as he tries to convert them to the Bible.

The "Sexy M.F." singer, who became a Jehovah's Witness in 2001, goes house-to-house to preach about the faith.

And fans are sometimes so stunned to find the rock legend on their doorstep that they don't want to let him go.

He tells USA Today newspaper, "Sometimes fans freak out. It might be a shock to see me, but that's no reason for people to act crazy, and it doesn't give them licence to chase me down the street."

Prince is so devoted to his faith that he even takes the Bible to business meetings, to show executives he is serious about doing a deal.

He adds: "There are all kinds of possible deals artists aren't privy to. I love to bring the Bible to the table. I start by asking if they believe in God, then: 'What kind of business do you want to conduct: Transparent or hide the ball?' I'll do tours and albums if the deal is clean."

How can the purple one expect people not to freak out? We imagine that if Prince were to show up at your doorstep, you'd have a million questions for him, ranging from the Charlie Murphy stories to the finer points of "Darling Nikki," and Prince would probably reply: "Nikki was a whore. What I want to discuss with you today is accepting our lord and savior Jesus Christ into your life." It's like something out of a Fellini film.