Halloween tends to bring out the ribaldry in a lot of people, what with all the sexy kitty cat and sexy bunny rabbit and sexy nurse and sexy comptroller costumes around. So this morning, our thoughts turn to sin and we sit idly, twiddling our thumbs and waiting patiently for requisite nip-slip-though-skimpy-costume celebrity pictures to be released. A cursory frisking of the internets has turned up nothing so far, but we have plenty to fall back on; namely, Marcia Cross nudie pics in a Glad bag, Anne Hathaway laying down some baffling rules for getting naked, and Lucy Liu learning the meaning of "European nudity" (hint: it has nothing to do with fine wine or bidets).
First up: the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway. After cutting her teeth in kiddie fare (Princess Diaries, etc.), she shucked her shirt and showed her schloobs in Havoc and Brokeback Mountain and wants us all to know that we'll be seeing more of the same in the future. Anne says:
"I grew up studying classic painters. They certainly didn't shy away from nudes. I don't find anything morally reprehensible about it. I think it is different to pose in a pair of hotpants on the cover of Stuff magazine. That's something I'm just not interested in doing."
That's cool, we grew up studying the Great Space Coaster and we don't find anything morally reprehensible about talking gnus or hose-nosed elephants with umbrella ears, so we have something in common with Anne.
You'll certainly agree that Anne's attitude towards screen nudity is very European. And speaking of Europe and nudity, let's turn our weary eyes to Lucy Liu (did you like that segue? It was pretty seamless, right?). Lucy just wrapped up filming for a horror movie called Rise. And according to totalfilm.com,
"The day before I was supposed to sign the contract, they mentioned that there was a phrase in there," she recalls. "It said, 'There will be European nudity.' I was like, 'What is this? I'm not going to sign this! What's European nudity?'"So what does it mean? "What it meant, basically, is that Europeans are open and free – so much more relaxed about nudity." Which means…? "There's frontal nudity."
That was a nice story, but it doesn't have much of a resolution. Did she sign the contract as is? Is the European nudity in question performed by Lucy herself? What color was the contract? Was it acid-free paper? Heavy bulk? Recycled? Onion skin? Was there onion skin involved?
Finally, a cautionary tale from Marcia Cross, who allegedy tossed some very private photos in her very not private trash, which were then stolen and given to David Hans Schmidt, the man who brought us the Screech sex tape. And yes, Marcia is, apparently, a natural redhead. TMZ quotes Schmidt, saying that his possesion of the photos is perfectly legal because they
"were not stolen. When you throw something away, you forfeit that property." Schmidt claims he also has the actress' tax returns, but "out of respect for Ms. Cross," won't discuss how much she makes.
So discussing one's salary is uncouth, but attempting to profit from titty shots hamburgled out of the garbage is perfectly kosher? Cool, just checking.
Anne's mams are at MrSkin.com.
Lucy's juicy there.
Marcia's there, Marcia's nude.
