Posh and Becks: The New Tomkat

There are a few things we know for sure about Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham: She has a face like Mr. Ed's long-lost bastard daughter, she could beat both Jessica Simpson and Catherine Zeta-Jones in a game of "Look how much empty space I have in my skull," and she has very fertile lady parts. The rest of these things are currently just conjecture: Vic may be knocked up again, her marriage may be nothing more than a surprisingly good acting performance, and she may be bowing down to our lord and savior, Xenu.

We heard sometime last week that Victoria and David Beckham might be pulling a Nick and Jessica and keeping up appearances for the sake of cash flow, and recent rumors have cast some light on that assertion. Posh has apparently been getting a little chummy with preggo Katie Holmes and has even taken Katie's advice on literature--of the Scientology variety of course. (Although we're sure Vic is far too busy to actually read the things and will probably just use them as doorstops or baby chew toys or something.) We also hear rumblings that Vic may be pregnant with kiddo number four, less than one year after the birth of her last spoiled brat. Hmmm. We're trying to add all this up in our head, but we're not actually all that much smarter than Victoria, so we're a little confused. A love of L. Ron, a need to reproduce like a redneck after NASCAR season, and a marriage to a world-famous pretty boy that is based on nothing more than a love of self-promotion. Nope. We have no reason to believe that David Beckham likes big, sweaty gardener/Beckahm/poolboy sandwiches or that he went to the Tom Cruise School of Marketing. No way, sir. No reason at all.
If you wanna be her lover, you've gotta see Posh at MrSkin.com.
Or if you lean the other way, David Beckham is at MaleStars.com.