Poo-lia Roberts

The Mexican and Mona Lisa Smile didn't exactly garner Scrooge McDuck-like piles of gold at the box office, but now there's something even shittier in Julia Roberts's life . . . actual fecal matter!

Far be it from us to pooh-pooh (hee!) actresses for wanting to take time off to raise their children and be hands-on mothers, but Julia Roberts's idea of "hands-on" is a little too literal for us. While doing press for her latest film, an animated thingie called The Ant Bully, which, despite being animated and about ants, is seemingly unrelated to the animated ant movie craze of 1998, Julia waxed poo-etic on the joys of motherhood. You see, some mothers can just sense when their babies are hungry, some intuit when their babies are hurt, but Julia Roberts has developed a special kind of ESP that lets her know when her twin toddlers, Hazel and Phinnaeus, are about to crap. Our gossip commandant, FemaleFirst, quotes Julia as saying:

I can catch poop in my hand and just be like, okay.

Although the wording of this soon-to-be-classic phrase suggests a certain amount of restraint, acceptance and Zenlike attitude, we can't help but picture America's former sweetheart/the Pretty Woman magnificent in a Vera Wang gown accessorized by a catcher's mask, diving across third base to reach out one mitted hand to catch a wayward turd falling from the buttocks of her progeny.
Julia is nudia at MrSkin.com.