Pink's Ode to the Hand Shandy

Pink claims that a song on her new album is about masturbation. Um, sorry to break this to you, Pink, but you're about twenty-three years too late on the shocking female diddling song tip. Bop, she bop.

Correct us if we're wrong, but Pink's new album isn't exactly tearing up the charts. So she seems to be taking a page from The Book of Shazza Stone, trying to drum up a little publicity by mentioning her panty hamster and the things she likes to do with it, every chance she gets. And, honestly, as long as it takes some press space away from Eva Longoria's chocha, we're all for it. Pink, apparently, better get a chaperone because she can't stop messin' with the danger zone! Our gossip pedagogue, FemaleFirst, claims that a song called "Fingers" on her album I'm Not Dead is about her propensity to let her fingers do the walking.

"Everything to me is a visual. My favourite songwriters are those who can paint a picture with their words. Maybe I don't do it as dramatically or deeply or as poignantly. But I like to paint a picture. I just thought, why not?"

It's kind of touching that she wanted to move people deeply with a song about self love. And it's kind of hilarious that we just said "touching" and "deeply".
Pink says yes to crack at MrSkin.com.