Paris Hilton Tries to Adopt a Smurf

Remember last week when Paris Hilton saved an Oompa Loompa from some sort of imminent disaster and we joked that she was planning on adopting him to add to her menagerie? Turns out we weren't far off. She just prefers her little people companions three apples high, not four or five. MSNBC reports:

Her plethora of pooches doesn’t have any say about it, but Paris Hilton recently learned that humans fight back when she contemplates adding them to her menagerie. While in Russia, the globe-trotting heiress offered to “adopt” a couple of adult actors who failed to find any humor in her request, the Daily Star reports.

Paris stopped at a candy shop featuring little people playing the part of ‘80s cartoon favorites “The Smurfs,” and passersby couldn’t believe her reaction. “I don’t know if Paris had been on the mulled wine when she saw the [actors],” one eyewitness told the paper. “We heard her saying: ‘Oh my, real live Smurfs. I always wanted one when I was a kid’ before turning to her pal and asking, ‘Can I take them home?’”

Then in an attempt at humor or an amazing display of ditz, Paris added, “I didn’t realize that this is where they came from.” The source said she “started talking about adding them to her collection and bent down to talk to them in a babyish voice. I really don’t think she was trying to cause offense. But the actors were really narked off about it all.”

So “narked” off that one man went Grouchy Smurf on the celebutante. “One of them just flipped and starting shouting at Paris. He obviously spoke fluent English and told her in no uncertain terms that he was a grown man and that she was being very patronizing.”

If Jamie Lynn changes her mind and wants to pawn that baby off on someone else, we've got the perfect solution for her: paint it blue and give it to Paris. Sure, the baby will probably end up forgotten and abandoned, trying to eat Tinkerbell because Mommy never feeds it, but it'll be a Spears, and they can get through just about anything. It'll Smurfive.