We have yet to encounter an object, living or inanimate, that is dumber than Paris Hilton. We bet if you found a still-steaming pile of cocker spaniel feces in your front lawn, with enough determination you could teach it the alphabet, give it a press pass, and send it to The Ivy to conduct a one-on-one interview with Paris. And when reporter poo pile asked Paris about how involved she was with designing her new clothing line, she'd just say, "You're stinky. Gross." And in case you're thinking that we're being too harsh on Ms. Hilton, let this item from MSNBC crawl into your brainpan and fester:
It was the Princess and the Pee, reports TMZ, when Paris Hilton stepped in a puddle of sewer water after exciting an exclusive nightclub. When an onlooker announced that the puddle might very well be urine, a perturbed Paris made a misguided announcement regarding communicable diseases. ìOh my God, I have, like, AIDS,î she exclaimed. Gee, maybe she should have stuck out high school a little longer, if only for a semester of sex ed.
We thought the one subject Paris would be well versed in would be sexually transmitted diseases. But then again, maybe she thinks, "Aw, fuck it, the herp ain't that bad, so what do I care if I get another?"
