Paris Hilton hasn't even been fitted for her orange jumpsuit yet and she's already impressing judges and prison guards and other important people with her ability to keep appointments. For some people, you show up in court or else you get a special late-night visit from Dog the Bounty Hunter; for Paris Hilton, showing up means you only have to do half the time. TMZ reports:
Paris Hilton is already getting a break — she's going to serve "about 23 days" in a "special needs" unit, officials said yesterday, about the half the time she was sentenced to in her conviction.Her sentence was shortened for "good behavior," which apparently includes just showing up for her last court date. L.A. County Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said she'll be staying in a two-person cell reserved for "high-profile" inmates, and that she'll have at least an hour a day to shower, watch TV, play outside, or gab on the phone.
Haha, Paris needs a special unit. A normal unit won't do. If it's smallish or wrinkly or curves to the left it's not an appropriate fit for Paris. Oh, wait, that says "special needs unit." Anyway, the 23 days is supposed to be a minimum sentence, but we have a feeling that might change. When Paris arrives at the prison for her deep-cavity search, the female guard will gush, "You're wearing clean underwear! This clearly demonstrates your intention to never break the law again. Ten days off your sentence." Then when she sits down to her first meal of gruel and stale bread the prison cafeteria manager will be so impressed at Paris's ability to not storm into the room and yell, "Move over bitches, there's a new whore in town," that she'll send her home that very afternoon.
