Paris and Nicole Will Make Ya Crap, Crap

When we see Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, the compacted, days-old feces from last week's five-alarm chili with double beans scream for release and exit our anus at alarming speed. We thought that reaction was unique to us, but apparently the new season of The Simple life is full of people shitting in the vicinity of Paris and Nicole. We'll just have to find another way to stand out.

The highlight of Paris and Nicole's Simple Life experience this time around? Overseeing fat kids' enemas. Reuters reports:

TV celebutantes Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie won't answer questions about their checkered driving records, or Richie's recent dizzy spells, or the origins of their highly publicized feud.

But they are more than happy to talk about a certain rectal ministration they performed on participants at a "wellness camp" overseen by fitness guru Susan Powter for an upcoming episode of their reality show, "The Simple Life."

"We gave the campers enemas," Richie told Reuters on Monday in a brief interview given by the pampered pair to promote their show, which returns for a fifth edition May 28 on the cable network E! Entertainment Television.

"We did it outside, so that was a lot of fun," Richie, 25, said of the enema sequence. "It probably wasn't that fun for (the campers), but it was definitely interesting. It was something that I never thought I would do before."

Really, Nicole? You never thought you'd be overseeing the forced enemas of a bunch of young chubsters while Paris stands by complaining, "Ew, this is gross. It's not sexy like when Stavros does it" and a '90s icon with bleached-blonde buzzed hair yells, "Now this is how you stop the insanity!" That's not a secret fantasy you've been harboring since season one, along with "Paris and I become mop jockeys at a peep show only visited by really hot guys, and the one who makes the biggest mess gets to participate in our season-ender threeway"? 'Cause we think you're lying, Nicole.

Nicole is looking good at MrSkin.com.

And Paris is looking naked at MrSkin.com.