Casting Begun for Paris's Parasite

Every day we inch closer and closer to Paris Hilton's return to serialized television. One day in the near future you will turn on MTV (unless you are like us, i.e., not 18, in which case you'll probably be watching Law & Order or that show where dads beat each other up or something) and there will be Paris, bedecked in pink velour, living canine accessory under her arm, lazily cooing "That's hot" until you are forced to pound on your television screen with your fist and beg her to pick a new catchphrase. Something '80s-inspired, we hope, like "Gag me with a Swarovski-studded dildo." Catchy. Casting for Paris's new sidekick began yesterday in New York, to lackluster results. Apparently there aren't as many girls willing to follow in her elephantine shoes as you would have thought. OK! reports (via Celebitchy):

“There were less than 40 people there,” one audition insider tells OK!. But despite the poor turnout, each of the hopefuls seemed ready to show their unique desire to grab the attention of the casting directors. “There were girls wearing matching pastel prom dresses with Swarovski crystal pendants and updos, ghetto-fabulous girls and two goth-inspired girls with bleach blonde hair, pale makeup, eyelash extensions and leather clothing.”

Additionally, OK! has to question the motives of these attention-seekers, as at least one contender was overheard remarking that she, “totally couldn’t live in the house with Paris,” because “she would be so annoying!” But for those camera-hungry wannabes fortunate enough to merit a call-back, they were approached by a casting director who handed them the show’s version of a golden ticket — a card that read, “You are cordially invited to join us at our audition to become Paris Hilton’s new BFF.”

We're actually kind of shocked that there are 40 people in the entire country, let alone New York, who would be willing to spend weeks fighting for Paris's attention. They probably won't even have memorable reality-show-style made-up personalities; Paris will probably just opt to call everyone Parisita or "her over there." But that's sort of fitting, as Page Six claims that the applicants pretty much all looked the same anyway:

Paris Hilton's new reality show should be called "I Want To Be Paris Hilton". Heirhead wannabes lined up Tuesday at Nikki Beach in New York for Hilton's new MTV reality series, "Paris Hilton's My New BFF" and it wasn't pretty. "It looked like Barbie threw up in there," said our spy. "All the girls looked like versions of Donatella Versace. They all had bleached blond hair, too-dark tans and were wearing tight, shiny dresses. All the guys that were there were gay. The whole thing was so bizarre." Casting directors had sent out a notice saying they were looking for "hot bitches and fierce guys" for the show.

Who did you expect to show up for the audition? Natalie Portman and a bunch of girls wearing ankle-length skirts and reading Gravity's Rainbow while waiting in line?


Get a load of the real Paris at MrSkin.com.