When our sweet lord Jesus returns to Earth and the heathens are cast into a boiling lake of habanero-infused diarrhea while awesome people like us rise into a kitten and bunny-filled heaven where we will start a band with Keith Moon's corpse, there will be an epic in the battle of the creepily MILFy stage mothers. Manicured talons will fly, weaves will be ripped out, they will stab each other to the death with loaded Botox syringes. Dina Lohan and Tina Simpson will lose and one mother will rise head and naked breastices above the rest, victorious: Kathy Hilton. You don't believe us? Well! Somebody obviously doesn't know their Bible! It is written.
It's vaguely distasteful that Lindsay Lohan's mom accompanies her daughter to nightclubs, but you know what's even ickier than a Hollywood gorgon doing body shots off members of My Chemical Romance? One wearing a see-through, skin-tight lace shirt with nothing on underneath. That's Kathy Hilton, star of I Want to Be a Hilton, progenitor of Paris and Nicky. Questionable, trollopy taste in clothing is genetic? Damn! We haven't seen lace-encased, finely aged cha-chas like that since last year's Asia concert at the Brooksonville County Fair. Yeah, whatever. "Heat of the Moment" rules.
You've seen Paris naked, right? No? Weird. OK, go to Mrskin.com.
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