With the wincing, shivering demeanor of an abused puppy, Paris Hilton called in to Ryan Seacrest's radio show and bowed and scraped and cried,
"I'm much more grateful for everything that I have, even just to have a pillow at night or food. In a way, I'm really glad this happened, because it changed my life forever. I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it. Frankly, I'm sick of it. I want to use my fame in a good way. I feel like I can't wait to start a new chapter of my life. It feels really great even though I really don't like it here."
1. You just now realized that the media mocks you? Just now? After we've all seen and heard you use racial slurs and let your hoo-ha hang out and watched your own pets turn on you? Just now?
2. How long before Buddha Hilton forgets this humility and is only grateful for food flown in directly from its source via solid platinum private jet and pillows made from the feathers of fledgling bald eagles?
Paris, MrSkin.com, you know the drill.
