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June 4, 2007 at 10:55AM

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Paris Hilton Goes to Jail, Shocked Her Get Out Jail Free Card Doesn't Work

Last night while you were knocking back shots on limoncello in tribute to Bobby Baccalieri, Paris Hilton had another woman's hand up her ass. And amazingly we're not talking about a wild MTV Movie Awards after party, but a pre-prison strip search.

TMZ reports:

TMZ was there when Paris Hilton turned herself in to Sheriff's authorities Sunday night.

It didn't go down at the jail. Paris' mega-lawyer, Richard Hutton, picked her up at her parents' house at 10:30 PM. Hilton, Hutton, mom Kathy and sister Nicky then drove to the Men's Central Jail in downtown Los Angeles -- commonly referred to as the Twin Towers -- where Paris officially surrendered to the L.A. County Sheriff to begin her 23-day sentence.

The Sheriff devised the plan of surrendering miles away from the actual site where Paris will be doing time because the crush of paparazzi at the jail created a potential safety hazard.

Paris was then driven to the jail in Lynwood, where she is now serving her sentence.

And how will Paris be spending her time in the can? Sneaking in her personal tanners and trying to decide if it's spelled "j-a-i-l" or "j-a-e-l". Our gossip prison warden, FemaleFirst, reports:

The bosses of PARIS HILTON's favourite tanning salon are hoping to cut through red tape in a bid to service the socialite in prison.

Sunset Tan owner Devin Haman, who also helps to keep Britney Spears bronzed, is trying to arrange at least one professional visit during Hilton's upcoming 23-day prison stint - so the heiress can top up her tan.

Haman says, "We're trying to arrange a tanning appointment while she's in there."

And according to the New York Daily News, Paris is planning to write a dear diary-style tell-all on her time in the clink. Which, considering TMZ is reporting that Paris will spend 23 hours per day in solitary confinement, should be riveting. "Deer dairy, Today I caunted things. Their is won matres in my sell, atey nine tiles on the floor, foor walls (won is made of bars), and I have ten tows. I tryd to caunt the hares on my head, but it got hard after won hundred."

With Paris in jail and Lindsay in rehab and Britney just too sad to look at, we're in for a sad month in the world of gossip. We'll have to rely on stories about Hayden Panettiere having latte binges and getting dangerously close to a caffeine intervention. We might have to learn the names of the girls from Laguna Beach and that other show, Kind of Like Laguna Beach, but Not, or whatever it's called.

Oh, and if you revel in other people's misery, watch Sarah Silverman almost make Paris cry. It's really kind of sad, actually.