Paris Hilton Engaged to a Real Turd

African families should no longer weep over the brutal exploitation and deaths of their loved ones at the hands of the diamond mining industry, for their labors are going to a wonderful and noble cause: spelling out Paris Hilton's most base bodily functions in shimmering precious stones! This weekend, Paris showed up at the opening of stylist Kim Vo's salon in Las Vegas, and was sporting a Li'l John-sized ring on her engagement finger that spelled "BM". Of course, this sparked rumors that she is planning on marrying boyfriend of two weeks Benji Madden. However, we're taking "BM" at literal face value and are assuming that she's donning the ring to remind herself which hand to wipe with. Regardless of the secret meaning of the ring, we're calling her "Ol' Shitfinger Hilton" from now on. That's a pretty name.

Get wise to some naked Paris at MrSkin.com.