Remember when Matt Damon went on Oprah and was all like, "I'm totally single, not attached to anyone at all, so all you pretty ladies out there, hit me up," and Minnie Driver, watching at home, was all like, "Uh, WTF? I'm your girlfriend, you assbag. Did you seriously forget to break up with me before you announced it to the world?" That was funny. Well, for everyone except Minnie Driver, that is. Now class act Paris Hilton is taking the same tack. Just when we thought we'd finally have to learn the name of the dude from The Hills she was porking, Paris saved us the hassle by having her publicist tell the media that she was officially in the market for a new vadge voyager. Only problem is, she didn't tell the dumped dork first. Paris's pub told People:
In response to the enquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy.
And then when E! asked the fake actor to comment on the break-up, the poor sap said:
No, that's not true. Everything is Ok between us.
Oh, that's just sad. Thanks a lot, Paris. You made us feel vague sympathy for a cast member of The Hills. Thanks a fucking lot.
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Whoa, did that Matt Damon thing really go down like that?
I didn't see it, as the internet didn't show us highlights of daytime TV in those days, but that's how I always heard it.
Minnie Driver confirmed the Oprah incident in an interview that she learned about their break up via the Oprah interview. Cold.