Paris Hilton's storied opus, The Hottie and the Nottie, a classic tale of the struggle between good and evil, a moral fable for the masses, made $9000 its opening weekend at the box office. That's probably less than Jenna Jameson pays for a-hole bleach. And now, to add insult to injury, she's allegedly been "banned" from attending the Oscars. We have no idea how someone can be blacklisted from the Oscars, but our personal gossip bouncer, FemaleFirst, scoops the poop, quoting a source who states:
"She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars. She's desperate to be taken seriously as an actress and hoped she would be able to network with film executives."
It's OK, Paris. The best networking actually occurs far away from the glittery Academy stage. There's no better place to make special Hollywood contacts than in the back of limos parked behind the theater. Or in the back of El Caminos parked behind the Stop and Swap on West 114th. Last time we went there, we got 14 bootlegged copies of Why Did I Get Married? and a pack of tube socks! Whoo!
The same source says that Paris is planning on surreptitiously attending the afterparties in disguise:
"She's tempted to go to the parties afterwards but might wear her trademark wig to save her dignity."
Dur. If it's a trademark wig, it's not much of a disguise, dingbat. Show up with your nipples covered and your body devoid of burnt umber tanner and we'll talk, sister.
One Comment
Finally we got good news with paris hilton's name on it!!!