Paris Hilton has made a promise: She is swearing off sex for one year. Luckily Paris thinks one year is 365 minutes long. Get it? Cuz she's dumb.
Like a latter-day Sleeping Beauty, Paris is placing herself in a metaphorical glass coffin, where her voracious genitalia will slumber for one year, awaiting true love. Curious, because Paris Hilton giving up porking is like you giving up blinking or Tom Cruise giving up crazy. It's her raison d'Ítre, her bread and butter, her blood and her bones. However, our meandering-eyed heroine is set on bettering herself and thinks going celibate might be just the way to do it. Our gossip pontiff, FemaleFirst, quotes her as saying:
I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person. Every time I have a boyfriend, I'm just so romantic, and I'll put all my energy into the guy, and I don't really pay attention to myself.
Although Paris obviously keeps up her high-maintenance schedule of tanning, Pilates, salon visits, and colonics, evidenced by her perfectly coiffed and curiously russet appearance at any and all social events, we do like the idea of Paris meeting a guy and becoming so overwhelmed with carnality that she neglects her basic upkeep and maintenance, rendering her pale as chalk, flabby, weave-bedraggled, and full of impacted feces.
All of this and more: Paris is naked, naked, naked at MrSkin.com.
