Most Hollywood couplings confound us. Yes, we understand why Jennifer Aniston is suddenly addicted to John Mayer's donkey dong. But Paris Hilton and Benji Madden? Fuck if we've got any answers for you on that one. Compatible herpes strains maybe? But one relationship that has always made sense to us is Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. They're somehow like that really sweet old couple you see feeding each other creamed corn in the park. Only with gigantic plastic breasts, rubbery sun-damaged skin, lots of tattoos, and leather pants. So it's good that Rolling Stone is reporting their inevitable reunion.
We visited Mˆtley Cr¸e in their Hollywood rehearsal studio yesterday as they prepped for their summer CrueFest tour. Yes, they rocked, and weíll have a full report in the next issue of Rolling Stone, but because youíre our pals, we thought youíd want to know one bit of news right away: ìPamela and the kids have moved in with me,î said a beaming Tommy Lee(speaking, of course, of his ex-wife and sex-tape costar Pamela Anderson and their two sons, Brandon and Dylan). ìItís awesome, man. Itís definitely working. You can tell on the kidsí faces ó theyíre happy when weíre together.î Letís hope those crazy lovebirds keep it together this time. As Lee told us, ìWeíve only given it a try 800 times ó 801, here we go.î
We sincerely hope that this reunion works out, partially because we're afraid of who Pam would marry next (Jesse Camp maybe?), but mostly because we're really excited for a sequel to Pam and Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon. It will be a fascinating study of maturing sexuality. Like grandma porn.
P.S., according to IMDb, Pam will be turning 41 on July 1st. Hmmmm. 41? Really? The combined age of each of her boobs, maybe, but if Pam is 41, Tom Cruise loves nothing more than a big juicy vagina.
