Hopefully They Filmed the Conception; It Will Make a Wondrerful Sweet Sixteen Present

We know you'll have to reach back really, really far in your brain, past the Britney custody drama and last night's episode of Heroes, to remember the details of yesterday's story concerning Pam Anderson legally binding herself to a fellow home-porn pioneer. That information is probably stored in the section of your brain reserved for immediately forgotten nuggets of knowledge, along with the middle name of your first Cabbage Patch Kid (hint: if it was a boy, it was probably Xavier). But now that we've reminded you of this impending doom, would it make you feel better that it's going to be a shotgun wedding? Yeah, probably not. OK! magazine reports:

While many have chalked up the news of Pam Anderson and "poker player" Rick Salomon's bizarre almost-wedding in Las Vegas (they filed for a marriage license, but as yet have not walked down the aisle) to her whimsical nature, OK! is hearing that there may be a bigger reason for the pair to get hitched ó a baby!

"She definitely looks like she's got a bit of a bump," one source tells OK!. "And this wouldn't be the first time Pam has rushed off to get married because there's a baby coming." The source is, of course, referring to the rumors that the Baywatch babe's surprise 2006 marriage to Kid Rock happened after she'd been impregnated. While these claims have been denied by the actress, they were bolstered by the fact that she filed for divorce from Kid only 11 days after miscarrying their unborn child.

It's bad enough that Pam has to explain her own sex tape to her kids with Tommy Lee, but that probably involves a lot of "Mommy and Daddy loved each other very much" and whatever bullshit. But is the Anderson/Salomon progeny going to reach a certain age and be sat down in front of the TV for a private screening? "Now, this is Mommy with the lead singer of Poison. And this is Mommy with Dylan and Brandon's daddy. And this is Daddy with some blonde hobag. All of these are available on the internet for $29.95 if you want to tell your friends." Also, we've been waiting for a third Pam spawn for a long time now. And we have some name suggestions for her: for a boy, Steve or David; for a girl, Brenda or Kelly. But not Donna. That would just be mean.


See Pammy naked at MrSkin.com. You don't even have to buy her a ring.