The Hollywood Poop

Ozzy Slipping Ever Further into Dementia

Ozzy Osbourne, God love him, gives more details about his recent brush with crime-fighting: "I had [the burglar] in a headlock, the rest of his body was dangling out of the window. He was choking . . . I thought, 'I could snap your neck like a straw, snap it and let you fall and say it was an accident.'" Ozzy went on to say, "Did I say I had ONE in a headlock? I meant six. And they were ninjas. Half-man, half-cobra ninjas."

The doddering Black Sabbath songbird and his wife Sharon were being robbed when Ozzy allegedly whipped on his superhero tights and went in for the attack. He opted not to kill the intruder, saying, "But then I just let him drop, I couldn't kill him, I couldn't live with that on my conscience. There is so much love in these things, and these people have taken our love away as if it is worthless." Whazza?

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