"Orrrrrly! Get Out of the Cahhhhhh!"

Fender benders and car-bound semi-fisticuffs aren't just confined to Britney, Paris, and other Hollywood ladies, they can also strike such masculine hunkasauri as Orlando Bloom. The curiously smooth Brit (not this one) got into a little crash outside of an L.A. nightspot last night, but what was really entertaining is the fight that went down minutes before, which was conveniently caught with grace and ease by the paparazzi. We don't know why the other guy in the car looks so distressed. It's Orlando Bloom. All he has to do is give him a gentle, limpwristed slap on the shoulder and he'll fall down in agony. Or say "Boo! I am a bad scary monster! I'm gonna gitchoo! I'm gonna gitchoo!" while tickling him. Or take away his Kerastase Bain Satin Extra-Moisturizing conditioner and watch him wither away, clutching his bronze curls and moaning.